So there's this whole thingie buzzing today about the Facebook IPO. Translation: Facebook goes public. Translation: Now you can buy Facebook stock. You've heard the chatter about how it's the biggest social media news and the most lucrative tech deal like maybe ever. Everybody is thrilled. La di da. Whoop di do.
Except, honestly, I'm having a hard time caring. And I'm guessing many of you are too.
If you just can't get excited about Facebook now being owned by shareholders -- or don't really know what that means -- and you are even less jazzed about Mark Zuckerberg becoming richer and more annoying than he already was (wait, who's Mark Zuckerberg again?), you aren't alone. In fact, my suggestion would be to embrace your Facebook IPO apathy and embrace it tightly.
Read on for 5 very good reasons not to care a hoot about Facebook going public.
1. You've never really understood the whole "IPO," "going public" thing. It's hard to get all "OMG!" about something when you don't know what it is.
2. Stocks and bonds and you just don't mix. You.just.don't. Wall Street and the stock market might as well be in Antarctica, you're so far removed from it all.
3. As long as we can still post pics of our cute babies, cute dogs, cute men, cute outfits, and cute party poses -- plus stalk all our old boyfriends and our current S.O.'s exes -- does it really matter whether we can buy or sell Facebook shares?
4. If this doesn't mean Facebook is going to drastically change its look (how much more drastic can it go after the whole Timeline debacle -- I mean, seriously?), then who gives a shoot?
5. If this doesn't mean a zillion more pop-up ads or "sponsored" posts and it doesn't mean Facebook is tracking us and selling our souls and generally invading our privacy any more than it already does, we won't even notice that it's "public." Damage already done, people!
Do you care about the Facebook IPO -- or do you even know what it really means?
Image via birgerking/Flickr