Man's Plan to Get Wife Drunk So He Can Use Facebook Goes Horribly Awry

OMG 10

beerI won't name names, but I know a couple whose relationship pretty much disintegrated thanks to World of Warcraft. The dude locked himself in his room and played the game all day, while the girl sat on the couch watching new and old episodes of The Bachelor alone. It was bad. Eventually, and rightfully, they broke up, and while the cause of death wasn't specified as "World of Warcraft," Girl and I know what's up.

Now, Facebook is the new World of Warcraft.

A Florida man named Doyle Hardwick wanted to peruse the social networking site in peace. But his pain-in-the-arse 54-year-old wife was there, cramping his style. So he did what any adult would do in such a situation. He fed her eight beers in hopes that she'd pass out and leave him to his own devices. And when she didn't, he called the police on her. The police, I say!

When the cops showed up -- and Hardwick gave them his reasoning ("[She] was supposed to go to sleep after [I] gave her the beers because that was the agreement," and "I just wanted someone to make my wife do what I wanted her to do."), they arrested him for the misuse of 911 and doled out a 60-day jail sentence (which, shockingly, he didn't show up for). Fun fact: Hardwick was also arrested last year for the same crime, after continually phoning up police to say that "neighbors were defecating into old vehicle fuel tanks for the past three weeks."

Honestly, I don't know why Hardwick couldn't just tool around on the website in front of his wife, but regardless of that -- and regardless of this man's ... odd decisions -- Facebook is kind of a problem in some relationships. Just like World of Warcraft.

How many crimes have we heard of (and reported on on this here site) this year alone on that stemmed from something having to do with Facebook? Whether it was a defriending; someone didn't like someone else's status; or two people met up through the site who shouldn't have -- it's gotten out of control. It's a website, people. A stupid, social networking site that's supposed to be fun. And in the vein of World of Warcraft, it's not supposed to rule your life. Get it together.

Have you ever gotten into a fight over Facebook?


Image via Dinner Series/Flickr

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jessi... jessicasmom1

Nope , not over facebook alot smut messages I could see causing a cramping style

nonmember avatar blh

He was obviously talking to someone he shouldnt have been. What an idiot.

Brooke Williams

No. Maybe because my husband is not this stupid!


The most fun my hubby & I have on facebook is reading funny status, jokes or posts with/to each other.


Wondering how old these people are...

Histo... HistoryMamaX3

There seem to be quite a lot of other issues here besides the facebook problem...

Jennifer Weather Gal Glancy

Regarding Wow, my hubby and I play together. It's a fun way to relax at night when the kids are in bed. Not much different than watching TV together. This guy, however, is sick...lol. I'm with Brooke on having fun with my hubby reading statuses, jokes and posts together. :o)

nonmember avatar Anonymous

Yes... my wife gets mad at me when I go to bed without her instead of staying awake so we can talk or watch TV together - usually an hour or two after she tells me "I'll be done in a minute" with Facebook and Twitter.

nonmember avatar Joe

Get off of FB and put down the iphone when we are eating together or watching TV together.

OR GO GET A FREAKING DIVORCE LAWYER 'cause I am going to subpoena everyone on your FB page before I clean you out, you self-absorbed slovenly, money-losing excuse for a spouse.

nonmember avatar Tess

I have noticed people will say things on FB that they would not say in person. More childish bs than normal or maybe it's what they really are. Foul mouth kids that everything is "f" this and "f" that. People that don't have an original thought of their own, stealing sayings from others off the internet and acting like it's theirs. No originality left, all cookie cutter people. Robots feeding off of others without a clue or direction in life. You can't experience life with your face stuck in fb pretending to be something you’re not, and 30 days complaining and crying on a boat doesn't make you something either.

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