The 20 Facebook Friends You Need to Block NOW

LOL 35

facebook on an iphoneI hate to stereotype, but sometimes, people just make it so damn easy! Especially on Facebook. Don't want to be seen as the "Obsessed Sports Fan Guy"? Then stop doing a play-by-play of the ENTIRE GAME every Sunday. How 'bout you over there, New Mom? You know every status update doesn't have to be about your infant ... These people are lurking under every status update, in your Notifications, and your Mini-Feed. Maybe you've been tempted to block them before, or you already have. You may even be one or several of them. I am pretty sure I am from time to time. (What can I say -- you gotta laugh at yourself!)

Recently, Buzzfeed.com came up with a funny list of the 46 Types of People on Facebook, but it looked like they were missing a few biggies. Here, 20 more types of Facebook friends we all know and may need to consider blocking ASAP.

  1. The workout junkie - This is the person who constantly checks in at their gym or writes a status update about going to the gym. We know you're the human Energizer Bunny -- stop rubbing it in.
  2. The person who must let everyone else know where they are at all times - Yes, we know Facebook and Foursquare keep hounding you about your "current location," but that doesn't mean you have to tell them -- and everyone else -- every single place you go (including boring places like the pharmacy or your dog's vet!).
  3. The angry couple - Passive-aggressive fighting via Facebook Timeline messages is the best!
  4. The shameless self-promoter - This is friend who is essentially selling themselves as a brand, and every status update or link they post has an ulterior motive (to make $$$$!).
  5. The bitter single mom - Constantly fighting her custody battles via status updates. (We get it, her ex is a douchebag!)
  6. The douchebag absentee dad - Constantly posting pics of his kid, but you can tell he only has them because Mom texted them to him.
  7. The foodie photog - We know you like food, and you are a kick-ass cook who makes insanely delicious looking dinners every night, but please stop making the rest of us so hungry!
  8. The person who has the Facebook status writing equivalent of verbal diarrhea - A new diatribe every 30 minutes is just a little overkill, doncha think?
  9. The whiner - "Why am I up so early?!" "Why didn't I go to bed earlier?" "I'm sooooo sick!" Woe is you.
  10. The warrior - Everyone knows this guy. He jumps into a status update thread with hopes of stirring up trouble by posting something controversial or completely contrary to everyone else's thoughts. But come on, man! Not everything has to be a great debate, kay?
  11. The critic - Similar to the warrior, but this chick takes everything super-seriously -- especially jokes and lighthearted convos.
  12. The Facebook mole - The one who only stays friends with you so they can report on you to others. You seriously want to IM them, and do your best impression of Mariah Carey: "Why you so obsessed with me???"
  13. The Debbie Downer - The person always posting the most awful thing that happened to them that day/yesterday/15 years ago on this day.
  14. The Facebook mime - This person just knows how to give the "thumbs-up," liking everything in sight without actually ever saying a damn thing!
  15. The REALLY Happy She's Married Girl - Yes, we get it, you took pictures at your wedding ... four years ago.
  16. The person who posts song lyrics to describe their mood - I'm sure you can think of something more original than Breathe Carolina lyrics? No? Okay ...
  17. The passive-aggressive depressive - "UGH! I just want to be left alone, you guys ..." (Er, but if you really wanted to be left alone, you wouldn't be posting a status update about it, right??)
  18. The indecisive profile picture changer - You don't actually need a new one for every day of the week. No, really, you don't.
  19. The guy with the same profile picture since 2006 - I'm starting to question if you look anything remotely like that anymore??
  20. The "Happy Birthday!" bomber - 364 days out of the year, he hasn't said anything to you, but on that one day ... when Facebook tells him you're a year older, he comes out of obscurity to wish you a happy b-day.

Which one are you? What other types of people on Facebook are there who drive you nuts?

 

Image via Casey Fleser/Flickr

facebook, social media

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peppypak peppypak

So, basically... delete everyone on facebook.  This is why I don't go on there anymore.

nonmember avatar friendly

You forgot the look at my baby now- now look at her now- now look at her in this outfit- now look at her in this one- now look at her on Tuesday- now Wednesday-etc. Babies dont look different every other day...

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

The religious nut. I unfriended someone over her religious BS and judgemental bigotry the other week. Oddly enough I don't care to remain friend's with someone who calls me satan's little butt monkey.

jagam... jagamama0710

Rhonda - LOL She sure sounds like she was a real Christian! 


I also delete or hide the "religious nuts". I don't mind people asking for prayers. I don't mind people saying they're excited to go to church in the morning or that they had a good time at church that day. But when every. damn. status. is a scripture, about Jesus (or how people need to "get right" with him), or how God is so great? I have to at least block you from the feed if not delete you altogether. If I wanted to "fan" a church, I would. But, it is their facebook to say what they wish so I just happily exercise my right to block. :) 

Sucro... SucroseMonkey

You forgot the person who just shares picture after picture after picture from someone else's feed and never actually has a real thought of their own.

PonyC... PonyChaser

LOL, Rhonda... I was going to say the same thing - "The Preacher", who fills your feed with post after post after stinking post with tons of scripture and religious videos, until it's the entire page. But there is NO WAY I can top "Satan's Little Butt Monkey". I can't even type that withough cracking up!!!

jaxmadre jaxmadre

Some of those on the Buzzfeed are funy, and some are REALLY shocking

coffe... coffee.crisp

I am totally guilty of the song lyrics thing... *sheepish look*

MegTh... MegTheGem

Sucrose, how do you know my mom and the majority of my family? LOL! Drives me nuts. I actually deal with the majority of people that's been described (and those mentioned by commenters), because I know that the people behind the profile are decently good people. I can deal with their social media retardation because I like them in person.

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