People Who Break Up via Facebook and Text Have No Souls


women texting I love 'em, but some of my friends and family just don't seem to know when enough is enough ... when it comes to texting, that is. Occasionally, I'll find myself sucked into a 30+ minute convo strictly via texts. I know I'm to blame, as well, cuz I could just call them (and sometimes I do), but often, one of us is in a situation where actually placing a phone call is out of the question (like waiting in a doc's office). Still, a text convo just gets really annoying really fast. And yet, that's not even the worst socializing faux pas around these days.

How about when someone attempts to broach an important, sensitive subject through text, email, or the dreaded catch-all, Facebook? For instance, a recent survey by market researchers found one-third of ADULTS have broken up with someone using one of those means of communication. I'm not surprised, but I'm seriously disappointed.

It used to be that we'd acknowledge how cowardly an online or text break-up was. Even doing it over the phone used to be considered crappy. What the heck happened to those good ol' days?! Since when did it become acceptable to majorly cop-out by breaking things off with someone over a screen? If this is any indication of where we're headed in all things related to interpersonal communication, we are seriously SCREWED!

It's truly ironic that email/text/Facebook were all created on the premise that they'd ease communication and bolster our relationships. But when you misuse them and lean on them in a situation that can only be done justice face-to-face, all of 'em work in the absolute opposite way -- leading to a communication breakdown that makes our relationships even less personal and more complicated.

Thankfully, 60 percent of people surveyed said they wouldn't break up with someone via 3G or Wi-Fi, so that's promising. Good to know that despite all the technology available at our fingertips, MOST of us still have a little something known as common decency -- whew!

How do you feel about people breaking up or broaching important discussions via email, Facebook, or text? Have you done it? 


Image via Simon Doggett/Flickr

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Kathy O'connor-Whipple

I think that this would be the equivilant of being called a coward (chicken shit)... etc.
I don't even for a moment, believe that anyone who would prefer to be that detached and could not be a decent human being to state in person that the break up is/was inevitable. In my opinion is emotionally crippled. You will be better served to rethink your strategy. What if this happend to you? Publically and on a "post" On Blast! I was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated. I am not a fan of online dating either. I want to meet the perspective candidate face to face. I will know within minutes whether or not there is a connection. I feel there is enough modern technology and "state of the art" mechanics already at work in our century. From businesses making hiring human employees a thing of the past. Only to be replaced by automated computers,machines, and the like. Where does that leave us as a race? If there is nothing personal then why bother. We as beings need human contact. (physical contact) I'll pass on that note. I am not trading my relationships professional or otherwise for any text message or email post and well you get the picture. Get real people. Make the time to appreciate and validate those in your life. Your computer may crash and that cheesey message might not be well received. Then what?

GlowW... GlowWorm889

I've never broken up with anyone via a text message or online. I did it over the phone once, but only because it was a long distance relationship and me with no car, so it would pretty much be him driving two hours for us to break up and them him driving two hours back. It seemed really bitchy and uncalled for, since we just weren't compatible, he didn't cheat on me or anything. Plus, I wanted to (and we did) remain friends. But I agree with the article. It's cowardly, rude, and tacky to do it over the internet at all, no matter the distance. If you can do it in person, do it. If you can't, at least with a phone call you're physically connecting with a person, unlike a text or FB message.

nonmember avatar flora

My ex-boyfriend of 5 years didn't even have the decency to break up with me via email or text! He went back to Syria a couple years ago, I visited him and for a month afterward we spoke lovingly,then one day - nothing. I emailed him and called him to find out what happened. He did not reply with even one word, just disappeared and told his family to tell me he was in the military. Well, it was all a lie. He wanted me to think he wasn't able to talk to me when indeed he could've told me all along. I recently found out he had gotten married. It would've been nice to get even an email from him saying "get lost", but no the coward couldn't even do that!!

nonmember avatar Kaylee

Well then call me a coward. I notified my ex that I was divorcing him through text rather than in person to avoid the fight. Not the arguement/discussion fight, but the kind that ends with bruises, cops, and handcuffs. I don't regret it even if it makes me a chicken and souless.

nonmember avatar Monica Rodrigue

@Kaylee - I'm pretty sure you understand that not everyone is in your situation... and that you're not chicken or soulless. Way to either miss the point, or deliberately misunderstand.

souixs souixs

My  ex sent me a text, " I don't think we have a future, hope you find someone to love you, " and never answered any calls or texts from me again. Needless to say it was so heartbreakingly impersonal,since I felt we had been really close. I still haven't gotten the whole story.

nonmember avatar Barbara

I'm in my sixties and so is he. He is also a psychiatrist. He broke up with me recently after being intimate and in an exclusive relationship for over 7 months. He did it in an email. This was two days after telling me that he is going to take me to a good restaurant on my up-coming birthday and buy me a gift.

nonmember avatar Garden

Well, my friend broke up w his ex in a face to face meeting and she slapped him on his face and wouldn't leave his place. So, on his next relationship, he broke up w her over text.

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