Okay, so when the anti-bibliophile eReaders first made their way onto the market, I was skeptical, if not downright against them. "I like the smell and feel of an actual book," I'd say. "I don't want to curl up with a piece of technology." And even though I still do feel that way, I eventually came around to the electronic devices. They're not my first choice for reading, but I can't deny their convenience or the instant gratification they provide.
But one leap in the eReader department that I'm 100 percent positive I won't ever -- in a million-trillion years -- come around to? eReaders with sound effects.
Picture it: You've grabbed a blanket, gotten all cozy, and fixed yourself a cup of herbal tea. You're ready to hunker down with that book (in your eReader) that you never got around to reading -- Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Oh, but wait. What's this? Is that ...? It is! It's china cups clanking in Mr. Darcy's garden. It's like you've been picked up off of your couch and plopped down into 19th century England. Magical!
Or totally ri-God damn-diculous. It's like, if you want technology, and music, and sound effects, just rent the movie. Listen to the book on tape! Cut out the middle man. Why even bother with reading -- an activity that's supposed to be quiet and peaceful?
And what if you're reading on the train or an airplane? How annoying -- and weird -- will you be? You'll be that girl with the china-cup-clanking eBook. Nobody wants to be that girl.
Look, I get that technology has to constantly change, and typically, I'm for it. But this is one trend I -- and Jane Austen -- will never get behind. So, suck it, sound effect eReaders.
Do you want a sound-effect-making eReader?
Image via uncafelitoalasonce/Flickr