Hacked Dating Site for Pretty People Proves Nerds Rule

Nicole Fabian-Weber

pretty womanAnd this, my friends, is what you call poetic justice. A dating website that only lets attractive people use its service just got hacked -- by a bunch of ugos!

Well, allow me to be more specific -- the website, creatively named BeautifulPeople.com, was hacked (what the hackers look like, no one knows), and a bunch of "unattractive" people were able to sign up for the service. The virus was, more creatively, named Shrek, after the famously ugly character.

Oh, the horror! What if one of the beautiful people accidentally clicked on someone without a perfectly symmetrical face? Their eyes might bleed out. Then they would sue the company. Damn you, ugly people! Why do you have to go and ruin everything?

I kid, I kid. This is actually one of the most gorgeous things I've ever heard of. I've had it out for Beautiful People ever since they called Kate Middleton ugly. Perhaps the Queen hired someone to do this?

See, the thing about Beautiful People that annoys me is ... everything. But the two things that bug me the most are the owner, who said, "We have sincere regret for the unfortunate people who were wrongly admitted to the site and who believed, albeit for a short while, that they were beautiful," and the fact that whether or not you're accepted to their site rests solely on your looks. What kind of bond are two people going to form based on that? Gross. But, hey, after this whole hacking business, maybe two people who normally would never cross paths -- I.e., an attractive person and an unattractive person -- wound up meeting because of this whole mix-up, and fell in love after an exchange of pithy emails. Yeah, probably not.

The ugly-on-the-inside people who run Beautiful People seem to think that the Shrek virus either came from a former employee or one of the "5.5 million people who are rejected." I say who cares? This is the best hacking job I've ever heard of. Nerds triumph! Pretty people are foiled! Instead of brushing your hair and working on your "Blue Steel," Beautiful People, you should have been working on getting a better IT department. Suckers.

What do you think of Beautiful People? Kind of gross, no?


Image via Martina Rathgens/Flickr

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