The days of sending flowers to yourself, having a friend spread a rumor that you've got a hot date with someone mysterious and sexy from the other side of town, or giving a thousand dollars to the prettiest girl in school so that she'll pretend she's your girlfriend (like in the Patrick Dempsey '80s classic Can't Buy Me Love) are LONG GONE. We all are now well-versed in the modern alternative: Facebook, the prime location for men and women to showcase their love lives via the Facebook wall in an effort to make it known that they're desirable.
In an effort to capitalize on people treating their Facebook profiles as personal PR campaigns, some app developers came up with "Cloud Girlfriend." The yet-to-be launched service for Facebook allows users to "create the perfect girlfriend," who will then write on the user's Facebook wall and "otherwise make her ghostly presence known through social media," according to AOL.
Loser guys who want to impress the masses (or, okay, just their Facebook friends) need only do the following ...
Step 1: Define your perfect girlfriend. Step 2: We bring her into existence. Step 3: Connect and interact with her publicly on your favorite social network. Step 4: Enjoy a public long distance relationship with your perfect girl.
Now, of course I feel bad for any guy who thinks that he has to resort to using "Cloud Girlfriend" to impress people. I cannot imagine how this service could possibly make Facebook wall posts look genuine; it sounds like posts will look computer-generated and spam-tastic. They'd be better off creating a whole new profile under a different email and writing on their own wall with the pseudonym. (Something I'm sure lots of people have at one point done to make themselves look good.)
On the other hand, I do NOT feel bad for a guy who thinks he's going to fool anyone -- especially women he's hoping to make jealous. That's what really bugs me about "Cloud Girlfriend" -- it's working under a totally ridiculous assumption that women are insecure morons who will be so easily fooled and made jealous by a computer-generated girlfriend who comes out of nowhere to post sweet nothings on some guy's Facebook wall.
Do they think we're totally stupid? Or is this a joke? It sure sounds like one.
The good news is that Facebook's Terms of Service agreement strictly prohibits computer controlled accounts ... which protects us all from spam insanity and also seems as though it would safeguard everyone against fake Facebook girlfriends. Hence, less time wasting for guys who should be signing up for eHarmony instead, and no profit for a company that assumes women are a.) stupid, b.) insecure, and c.) jealous freaks. Clearly, "Cloud Girlfriend" biting the dust before it even gets off the ground would be a win-win.
Do you think the makers of "Cloud Girlfriend" are serious?
Image via Amazon