Who Needs Roofs When You Have Man-Made Clouds?

Lindsay Mannering

cloudsThe soccer World Cup in 2022 will be held in Qatar in June and July. I know what you're thinking: "Last time I was in the Middle East in the summer it was so hot my face melted off. How are athletes going to stay cool when the average temperature there is one billion degrees fahrenheit?" Good question! No, they're not building stadiums with roofs and air conditioning, and no, they can't move the tournament to January or February. They're going to rely on cloud cover to keep everyone from spontaneously combusting on the field and in the stands.

But as you know, clouds are kind of hard to control. Well natural clouds are, anyway. But Qatar isn't talking about clouds made from weather, they're talking high-tech, $500,000 clouds that they'll be making and distributing themselves.

This is the most bad-ass news I've heard in a while. We can make clouds? I wasn't aware. And they sound relatively inexpensive, too! Cruchgrear says that the clouds will be made of a “lightweight carbon structure carrying a giant envelope of material containing helium gas.”

Whoa, these clouds aren't blimps are they? That would be such a rip off. Anyway, assuming that they are indeed the fluffy white and gray things we see in the sky, I'm very impressed that we can just stir up some clouds and float them over the stadiums.

So if we can make clouds, does that mean we can destroy them, too? Forget the Contessa, let's start a letter writing campaign to congress to eliminate clouds on National holidays like Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. Am I right? Then really rich people could donate money or something and pay for clouds to disappear on whatever days they wish, like weddings, graduations, or camping trips.

On the other hand, I wouldn't mind floating a cloud or two over South Beach occasionally to shield us Northern vacationers from complete and utter skin destruction. Say, float a cloud by every hour for ten minutes, like you would see a prop plane trailing a banner, let's see one pulling a cloud over us like putting a blanket over a baby.

There's a ton of money in Qatar, so I'll be curious to see how many clouds they pump out. Then again, it's eleven years from now, I'll be reading about it on the Apple device I had inserted into my forearm and clouds will seem like old news.

What do you think about these man-made clouds?

Photo via markhillary/Flickr

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