Voice Mail Is for Losers.

Lindsay Mannering

phoneThe red light blinks like a beacon of doom in a harbor of discontent. To follow its glow is a deadly endeavor, killing your precious time and your fragile soul.

That red flash on your cell or your answering machine that bats on ... and off. On ... and off. "You have a voicemail!!!!" it silently screams. You can ignore it for only a few minutes before you must.make.the.light.stop.blinking. You then rightfully blame whomever has left this forsaken voicemail for your anger and agitation.

Who leaves voicemails anymore? Who? Better question: WHY. Why do people still leave voicemails?


And ... why?

There are so many better ways to get in touch. Calling is fine. It's perhaps the way to get in touch, but if the person doesn't pick up, please do not leave a voice message. I guarantee you no one likes them. Gizmodo created a list of when it's appropriate to leave these turds of despair, and I agree with only one of them: if you're trying to let someone know about a family death or birth, a voicemail is OK. But under no other circumstances should it be allowed. Ever!

Speaking from personal experience, you are 1,000 times more likely to get a response to an email or a text than a voicemail. No one wants to dial in their code and listen to the -- crap! I hit the wrong number -- I meant to press 7! I'm pressing 7, why isn't it deleting!!!! I don't want to save I ... god DANG it I hate voicemails.

Let us all join Internet hands here and make a pact. No more voicemails. If you're with me, change your outgoing message to "I kindly do not accept voicemails." It's only a little tricky if you're job hunting, but the right employer will appreciate your scruples. Do you want to work for anyone who's going to leave you voicemails anyway? Didn't think so.

How much do you hate voicemails? Let's hear ... I mean ... read why!

Photo via mangpages/Flickr

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