Free Valentine's Ecards for Loved Ones You Hate

Maressa Brown

You procrastinator! It's almost mid-afternoon, and you're still scrambling to send free ecards for Valentine's Day to your sweetheart, your best friend, grandmother, step-sister-in-law ... whoever ... to acknowledge the holiday. Obviously someecards should be the first site you click to. I swear, it's not just for hipsters and college kids anymore. (Yeah, it kinda used to be, though.) But now! There's something for everyone you're crazy for (and who drives you crazy!).

Because you're harassed enough by these people, I figured I'd make your life a little bit easier by putting together this handy-dandy guide of the best snarky e-cards and who you might want to consider sending them to ...

For your husband of 15 years -- What you'd really like for V-Day? If he could drive your tween daughter to that Justin Bieber movie. So remind him with this one that you're grateful he's such a doting daddy. If you follow through on your promise, maybe he'll contain any complaints about having to sit in mall traffic filled with shrieking pre-adolescent girls.


For all 544 of your closest Facebook friends -- If you're lazy interested in spreading the love even further, you can just post this one on your Facebook wall. They'll know you really truly care ... you know, because you were so kind as to go and take your status update into TMI Land.




For your overbearing but devoted mother -- This way, she can't give you a guilt trip tomorrow, and you get in a jab with it all being in typical "just kidding!" someecards jest! Win-win! Get it here.




Single? For your also-unattached friends -- You've been friends long enough that it shouldn't be a big deal! Before Sex and the City airs for the 90 billionth time tonight, send your gals this one. Might as well be honest with one another poke fun at the stereotype of what it's like to not be in a relationship today. 



For the fiance or newlywed hubby who is still whipped -- Send him this one, and he may actually take it seriously. Fast-forward to later tonight, and you'll be swimming in a sea of Godiva, Beluga caviar, Château Pétrus, and rare diamonds. Or you'll find yourself at The Cheesecake Factory. Whatever. 



For that hypochondriac guy you just started dating -- Send him this adorable e-card, and he won't have to question that your compatible OCD sensibilities mean you're a match made in Woody Allen Heaven.




Now, if you still haven't found the perfect e-card here or on the someecards site, you might do well to go to Blue Mountain or one of those other sites that haven't changed since 1995. But if you go that hokey route, I can't promise you that your loved ones will necessarily laugh until they cry. Your choice. Either way, happy Valentine's Day!

Do you plan to send e-cards today?


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