Another day, another infuriating account of Facebook causing all sorts of personal offense with their questionable photo policy. I'm still reeling from the story of how Facebook deleted pictures of a mom's dying baby boy, and the latest is that the social media giant has banned a British woman's topless photos.

I know what you're thinking: Topless photos? That's nudity! Well, is it still nudity if it doesn't show a breast? Because this mom of two shared a photo session that was meant to commemorate having won her battle with breast cancer after having a mastectomy.

In other words, Joanne Jackson may be topless in some of the images—but the photos are hardly X-rated. They show a triumphant, courageously strong woman sharing her scar with the world.

All Marcella Marino wanted was to feel like a princess in her school pictures. But when school officials got a look at the 4-year-old's Lady Gaga-inspired 'do, they banned her from the class photo, leaving her in tears.

The toddler had asked her father Marcello, a hairdresser, to re-create Gaga's famous "hair bow" in tribute to her favorite singer. Amazingly he constructed the look entirely with Marcella's own locks; still her Kent, England school was less than impressed. Apparently they have a strict bow policy -- only allowing blue or maroon ribbon -- and told the tot to take a hike.

To quote one of my favorite movies, The Incredibles, sometimes there's "no school like the old school." An old guy named Uncle Drew proves that fellow old guy from The Incredibles right. In a video that has been seen by over four million people (and counting!), a crew for Pepsi MAX went to shoot a documentary for a basketball player named Kevin. When Uncle Drew went in to play, the game transformed into something else entirely.

After you watch it below, I'm sure you can't help but think that this could rank alongside basketball classics like the Larry Bird vs. Michael Jordan short for McDonald's or this incredible bball commercial from Nike. So, without further adieu, here it is!

Did you drink too much last night? Nursing a hangover? Is it too early in the day for me to ask you these questions? Here, have an aspirin and oh by the way: Taco Bell Beefy Nacho Burrito to you, Bright Eyes.

Let me repeat that for you: Beefy Nacho Burrito. Taco Bell just introduced its newest menu item, and it's so obvious that it was created exclusively for drunk/hungover people. For 99 cents you get ground beef, nacho cheese, sour cream, and their new "Queso strips." It's for those times when you're craving nachos but you temporarily lack the manual dexterity to manage the chips and dip, so they've wrapped it all up into a nice, soft flour tortilla diaper for you.

Now what the hell are "Queso strips"?

Some weird things have been happening over in Cannes. First, a male reporter tried to get frisky with Will Smith, who had to slap him down. Then Brad Pitt said that, well, he and Angelina might get married, someday, if, you know, everyone else can. But the weirdest, most oddtastic happenstance must be when Nicole Kidman squatted over Zac Efron and let a loose a yellow river of number one right on his handsome golden show -- I mean, golden boy face.

In a movie, that is. Kidman and Efron star in The Paperboy, the new flick from Lee Daniels, who directed Precious. It also stars Matthew McConaughey and John Cusack. And word has it that the movie is one of the most bizarro to be screened at Cannes.

I get how frustrated Yong Hyun Kim must have been. The 31-year-old was in a Washington movie theatre trying to be all romantic, watching Titanic in 3-D with his girlfriend. Then the kids in front of him started acting like punks. Just how big of punks is in question, but he says they were yelling, throwing popcorn, and when he asked them to be quiet, they laughed at him.

I can only imagine how angry this made Kim; I would have been pissed too and wanted to do all sorts of things to their smug, rude little selves. The problem is that Kim actually did -- he punched one of the boys in the face. He hit him so hard that he knocked out one of the 10-year-old's teeth and left him with a bloody nose.

"I got so mad that it just happened," he told police.

So Fifty Shades of Grey is mommy porn, huh? Well, every mommy I know is entirely too busy to read through so much humdrum dialogue and description. If we wanted romantic dribble, we'd turn on a Lifetime movie. After all, aren't those lurid sex scenes the only reason we picked up the book anyway?

To speed things up, I uploaded the kinky tome to my e-reader and searched for a few key words (surprisingly there wasn't a "penis" in a single passage). This little trick helped me skip the foreplay and get straight to the passion. Here’s a cheat sheet on where to find the steamiest bits.

If you've seen the video of the baby who was placed in a washing machine that accidentally got turned on, you might find it hard to believe that story could get much worse. Oh, but it can ... or at least more twisted.

Original reports said it was the baby's father who placed him in the machine as a joke. When he shut the door, the machine turned on, and footage shows 1-year-old Saimeir Bush being thrown around inside the machine for more than a minute before a worker finally freed him. Fortunately, the baby was somehow fine, but it was such a horrific example of bad parental judgement that we all chided these irresponsible parents.

Only now, it appears there may have been no parents involved.