Here is a loaded statement: I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a liar and a cheater. We broke up back in March, before I knew about the cheating. I won't deny it: I most definitely have flaws that I'm sure contributed to our ultimate demise. Regardless, I was so overly sick of crying. I was sick of feeling unappreciated. I wasn't the confident woman he fell for back in September. Her spirit had been crushed. We both needed out.

A couple weeks ago, he tried to win me back.

He made us a reservation. He told me he changed. He loved me. Gorgeous. Confident. He would never hurt me again. This was a forever kind of thing. It was hard to take him seriously considering our past. At the time, I wasn't exactly sure how I felt.

You know who was sure? His girlfriend. As in, current one. Nine days after our Thursday night rendezvous, she messaged me to tell me that she looked through his phone, saw him trying to win me back, and that I should know the truth.

Yeah.

Fuck.

For many people who marry young, the engagement ring of their dreams is far, far out of their reach. I know when my husband and I married, I had dreams of multiple carats, but my graduate student husband had more affordable plans. We got the ring he could afford at the time, which is a lovely three-stone ring, a carat in the middle and a quarter carat on each side. I love it.

But now that we have been married 10 years, I am aware of the fact that what he could afford NOW would be much more grand. And when I hang out with local women, sometimes I am aware that their diamonds are just a bit more BLING than my pretty, subtle ring. But you know what? I wouldn't change it for anything.

Of course, I may be alone in that thinking. A lot of women think it's perfectly normal to upgrade or otherwise enhance or change up their wedding set. I don't judge it. Exactly. But I do wonder why. Here are 6 reasons to keep the ring you got at your wedding:

I separated from my husband just a year ago. The day before Mother's Day, to be exact. We were just kids when we married sixteen years ago, so breaking up was a seismic event in my life. We'd been together almost my entire adult life. Obviously I couldn't jump into dating right away. I decided to take a year off from men and just work on myself. Do therapy. Work out. Learn how to make myself happy -- which, it turns out, I already knew how to do quite well. And then, finally, after this self-nurturing incubation period I would be ready to enter the world of 21st century dating.

My first post-divorce "dating" experience was way more tawdry and hot than I'd ever expected.

When I got married the first time, more than 15 years ago, I had the wedding I'd always dreamed of in a beautiful old hotel with high frescoed ceilings. Surrounded by 200 of my closest family and friends, I wore a wedding dress that I had designed with the help of an amazing seamstress.

Picture perfect.

Except for this: I had some serious doubts about my relationship with my husband-to-be. Those doubts didn't really hit me until a few months before the wedding took place. Up until then, I had been too busy planning it and attending events in our honor to think about the marriage itself. I mean really think about it.

But I wasn't too concerned. Didn’t everyone have doubts about getting married? Could you ever be totally sure that you were marrying the right person?

Maybe we wish there was one, but there is no giant book that governs the way that we should act in a serious relationship. We've all been there: when things go sour and a breakup happens, it feels like your world is crumbling. With time you heal, you move forward, you meet other people. The harsh reality? Getting over an ex isn't easy. And sometimes, you don't have to.

I know, I know, getting back together with an ex has all sorts of nasty stipulations. So many questions pop up: If it didn't work out before, why will this be any different? Why now? The reality? Not all relationships end because one person deliberately hurt the other. Not all relationships end in tears.

Thus I present you with 5 times getting back together with an ex is a good idea. Seriously.

Breaking up is hard to do. But with Facebook, Twitter, and an iPhone full of old (filtered) photos, it's even harder. According to a new study, people have a tough time erasing the digital mementos of former flames.

We've all been there. You and What's His Face have decided to end things once and for all -- for real this time -- so you scroll through your contacts, intending to delete his phone number. But when you get there, you just ... don't.

Zoe Saldana might be famous for her year-long relationship with Bradley Cooper, but she recently revealed that she might eventually end up with a woman. She told Allure magazine, for whom she also posed topless:

"[I might] end up with a woman raising my children. That's how androgynous I am."

Uh, Zoe, I think there's a word for this and it's not "androgynous." That's more like when you crop your hair, wear boys' underpants, and maybe put on a bowler hat. What you're talking about is something called "bisexuality."

All of those other "how to land a man" lists have got it wrong. They tell you to go to certain places, wear certain things, flirt a certain way, laugh at his lame jokes. But none of that is really going to make you stand out in the desperately overcrowded dating scene. Every single woman knows it's brutal out there. So here are the 9 things that will actually help you find your future husband.

What do you think a woman needs to find a good man?

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