LOL

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    When it comes to wanting an honest opinion about whether or not your ass looks fat in the skinny jeans you just spent 10 minutes trying to zip up -- don't ask your husband. And don't ask your mom or your best girlfriend either. (They'll all lie to your face.)

    If you want the truth -- seek out a kid. Actually, you probably won't even have to ask the question if you find said kid. He/she will take one look at you and say, "Your butt looks HUGE, Mom." Or, "Those jeans don't fit, Mom."

    You catch my drift. Kids have a wonderful knack for pointing out the negative aspects of our appearance without so much as a second's thought -- even though 99 percent of the time, they aren't trying to insult us at all.

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    For any parent who's ever taken their baby for a shot -- do I even need to say it? -- it's awful. The screaming; the tiny red face; the look your baby gives you when the doctor pulls away with that gigantic needle that just stabbed them that says, "You. You did this to me. Traitor!" It's truly one of the worst feelings a parent can have. And few things on this Earth can rival the awfulness of the very first one. Horrible.

    But take comfort in the fact that you're not alone. It's a rite of passage all parents go through (one we were never warned about when we were pregnant!). So, let's unite, Moms and Dads. Here are the 12 stages we all go through when our poor babies get their first shot.

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    Who doesn't love Neil Patrick Harris? I mean, the guy is just universally likeable. I'm pretty sure not liking NPH is akin to not liking puppies and butterflies and ice cream. It's just not natural.

    But there's a time and place to show your appreciation to the star for the act of existing, and during his live Broadway show is not one of those times.

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    So, I still don’t fully understand the turn of events that caused this to occur, but somehow, it was decided spur-of-the-moment that my husband would drive our children to Michigan to visit their grandparents, and they would ALL STAY FOR A WEEK. In a different state. Where I am not. Like, all of them.

    Which left me … unsupervised.

    Which seemed like it should be TOTALLY AWESOME PARTY TIME. I’ve never been unsupervised for a week before ever. In my whole entire life. 

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    Kids. They sure have a way with words sometimes, don't they? On the one hand, they keep us on our toes and in a way, they also help keep us young.

    But then there are those times when something so outrageous comes out of their mouths that ultimately reminds us that we're most definitely not cool anymore. As in we're washed up. Aging. OLD.

    In fact, just the other day, my son discovered one of those Viewmaster slide viewers in my mom's basement -- and he's been mesmerized by the damn thing ever since. He's so obsessed that he told me he wants to "start collecting vintage items ... from the 1980s."

    (Are you freakin' kidding me? I think I just found another gray hair.)

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    It doesn't take a major scientific study -- or the Daily Mail -- to tell us first impressions matter on a first date. But guess what: You're about to get this newsflash anyway. According to a big survey of 2000 people by AXA, you have exactly 12 minutes to make an impression on a first date. Your moment of judgment is swift and fleeting, so you'd better get it right. Or else! You'll just have to go on another first date with someone else.

    If you want Cupid's arrows on your side, be sure to smile a lot, make eye contact, breathe out minty freshness, use a pleasant tone of voice, and wear a spiffy outfit. These all sound straight from the No Shit Files, but you'd be amazed how often people get them wrong. If, on the other hand, you are determined to torpedo your chance at love with Mr. New, be sure to have foul body odor, bad breath, swear a lot, dress like a hobo, and scowl. Or try any of these proven romance-killing gestures.

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  • LOL

    7 Secrets Moms Never Share

    posted by Jenny Isenman Friday at 10:42 AM in Big Kid
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    There are certain secrets we moms keep to ensure the survival of our species. It’s not like we took an oath to keep them, it’s more of an unconscious phenomenon — like we’re programmed to omit certain details about parenting life from conversations on an evolutionary level.

    I kinda wish I’d been privy to this classified information beforehand, not that I could’ve prepared, but, like, full disclosure people! So I will go against my internal programming and divulge some things parents let you find out for yourselves.

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    Parents spend a good deal of time wondering about and analyzing their child's verbal development. But there may come a day when you miss their baby blather, which of course makes absolutely NO sense but can still be as adorable as it is hilarious. Especially when you interact with them and attempt to have a "real" conversation -- or faux argument

    That's exactly what this father did in a now viral video appropriately titled, "You can't reason with babies." While working on some laundry out on his apartment balcony, his tot fervently tries to argue ... to be let out? That he wants to move out? That mommy is a meanie? We're not sure. Neither is his daddy, but he sure had a hilarious way of communicating with his chatty kiddo!

    Check it out ...

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    Kim Kardashian's penchant for being fancy isn't exactly anything new. I think it's pretty safe to say that motherhood has not sucked the glam out of this girl one iota. Which is why it's not surprising to find out that her sisters have nicknamed her Fancy Nancy after the popular children's book character.

    As the 33-year-old reality star Instagrammed the cover of Fancy Nancy and the Wedding of the Century from the airport in Miami on Wednesday with the caption, "OMG!!!!! Look what I just found at the airport @khloekardashian @kourtneykardash!!!! Are u sure u didn't write this???"

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    The end of the school year is quickly approaching, and we all know what that means! No, it's not the promise of summer, or graduation for some, but the event most high schoolers eagerly await: the prom.

    But finding a date, and actually asking them, are events in their own right. 'Promposals,' as they've been so appropriately dubbed, are taking over. From celebrities to puppies to fast food, teens are literally using anything and anyone to outdo each other and snag a date to prom.

    The latest viral promposal? A proposition from Bryan Cranston, aka Walter White. Clearly, the girl can't refuse:

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