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    With the exception of career drag queens, men have no business in bra departments. Sometimes, though, we're required to venture into these forbidden zones, no matter how suicidal the mission. Due to my repeated failure, even when armed with a detailed text listing the exact size my 12-year-old daughter has instructed me to purchase, I seem incapable of returning home with a bra that "feels right." Which is why I privately refer to this sad vortex of breast retaining walls as The Island of Misfit Cups.

    The open hostility with which I'm routinely greeted doesn't help. I thought we'd evolved as a culture, but the raw disdain my very presence seems to elicit in female bra shoppers has taught me otherwise.

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    Graduation season is right around the corner. As the high school and college seniors are wrapping up their studies and getting ready for their next adventures, parents are gearing up for one night: the graduation party.

    Sending out the invites, checking the guest list, and ordering food, music, and entertainment are all top of mind. But the centerpiece of the party, aside from the actual grad, of course, is the cake. It's a way to perfectly symbolize the past few years of school and shows the grad just how proud everyone is.

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    A mother's car can be spotted from a mile away. It usually smells, it's encrusted with various snacks, there are plastic toys strewn about, and it's a g.d. mess!

    Remember that time your car was neat before you had kids? Hahahaha, look back on it fondly, because you will never experience that again, dear friend.

    But if you think your car is bad, I have some solace for you. Here are 18 cars that couldn't scream I'M A MOM! any more than if the words were spray painted on their trunk.

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    Tattoos are more mainstream than ever these days. Everyone has one; even moms are getting in on the action. Which shouldn't be that surprising. Moms have long been a popular topic in the tattoo world. Folks are forever getting tattoos dedicated to celebrating the special woman in their lives. Now moms are returning the favor and celebrating their own kids with ink.

    But the results aren't always touching and flattering. In fact, sometimes they can be downright ... disastrous. One bad tattoo artist or a joke gone too far, and these bad mom tattoos are emblazoned on someone's person forever. Too bad for them, and too funny for us.

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    I'm not sure who the most popular Kardashian sister is (has there been a poll?), but I think I speak for a lot of people when I say it's none other than ... Khloe!!! Not only did Khloe pull on everyone's heartstrings with her sad infertility problems and disastrous marriage, but she's flat-out the funniest Kardashian. At least the one who is the most intentionally funny. And we got a glimpse into her awesome sense of humor when she appeared on Chelsea Lately and totally killed it making fun of herself.

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    When it comes to wanting an honest opinion about whether or not your ass looks fat in the skinny jeans you just spent 10 minutes trying to zip up -- don't ask your husband. And don't ask your mom or your best girlfriend either. (They'll all lie to your face.)

    If you want the truth -- seek out a kid. Actually, you probably won't even have to ask the question if you find said kid. He/she will take one look at you and say, "Your butt looks HUGE, Mom." Or, "Those jeans don't fit, Mom."

    You catch my drift. Kids have a wonderful knack for pointing out the negative aspects of our appearance without so much as a second's thought -- even though 99 percent of the time, they aren't trying to insult us at all.

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    For any parent who's ever taken their baby for a shot -- do I even need to say it? -- it's awful. The screaming; the tiny red face; the look your baby gives you when the doctor pulls away with that gigantic needle that just stabbed them that says, "You. You did this to me. Traitor!" It's truly one of the worst feelings a parent can have. And few things on this Earth can rival the awfulness of the very first one. Horrible.

    But take comfort in the fact that you're not alone. It's a rite of passage all parents go through (one we were never warned about when we were pregnant!). So, let's unite, Moms and Dads. Here are the 12 stages we all go through when our poor babies get their first shot.

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    Who doesn't love Neil Patrick Harris? I mean, the guy is just universally likeable. I'm pretty sure not liking NPH is akin to not liking puppies and butterflies and ice cream. It's just not natural.

    But there's a time and place to show your appreciation to the star for the act of existing, and during his live Broadway show is not one of those times.

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    So, I still don’t fully understand the turn of events that caused this to occur, but somehow, it was decided spur-of-the-moment that my husband would drive our children to Michigan to visit their grandparents, and they would ALL STAY FOR A WEEK. In a different state. Where I am not. Like, all of them.

    Which left me … unsupervised.

    Which seemed like it should be TOTALLY AWESOME PARTY TIME. I’ve never been unsupervised for a week before ever. In my whole entire life. 

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    Kids. They sure have a way with words sometimes, don't they? On the one hand, they keep us on our toes and in a way, they also help keep us young.

    But then there are those times when something so outrageous comes out of their mouths that ultimately reminds us that we're most definitely not cool anymore. As in we're washed up. Aging. OLD.

    In fact, just the other day, my son discovered one of those Viewmaster slide viewers in my mom's basement -- and he's been mesmerized by the damn thing ever since. He's so obsessed that he told me he wants to "start collecting vintage items ... from the 1980s."

    (Are you freakin' kidding me? I think I just found another gray hair.)

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