There's nothing like breaking up with a guy and then cranking one of Kelly Clarkson's strong-grrl anthems and belting out the lyrics to "Stronger" or "Since U Been Gone." Yeah! But, in the future, Kelly may be more the soundtrack of your weepy puppy love moments than your hold-your-head-up-high and get-ridda-that-man times.

Says Kelly, who has been dating Brandon Blackstock for about six months:

I'm trying to write a tough song and it is coming out like butterflies and rainbows ... I'm writing this happy stuff.

Yeesh. This doesn't sound like "Because of You," Kelly.

Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey hit mainstream consciousness, and we all found out who inspired E.L. James' hit series, I'm sure fans have been wondering what the heck Kristen Stewart has to say about the phenomenon. After all, it was her -- or at least, a character she portrays -- who inspired the novels. And obviously, there are tons of KStew fans out there who want to see her star as Anastasia Steele in the forthcoming Fifty flick.

So I know exactly what After Hours With MTV's Josh Horowitz was playing at when he recently urged the Snow White & the Huntsman cast read the book aloud. (Oh yes, he did.) Sure, watching Charlize Theron's reading of Ana discovering Christian's "oh so happy trail" is hilarious, but that wasn't the point of the scheme. Hells no! I'm sure Horowitz just wanted to a juicy reaction and some nifty soundbytes out of KStew! And, I gotta hand it to the guy -- he succeeded.

Poor Alanis Morissette is getting some major flak this week after declaring she will be breastfeeding son Ever for, um, ever (oh come on, you were thinking it too). The Ironic singer flamed the fires of the mommy wars when she added her voice to the groundswell of support for attachment parenting in the wake of that awful TIME Magazine cover with one of the dumbest comments yet. Morissette thinks extended breastfeeding will prevent her wee one from having to go into therapy when he's older.

Silly Mommy! Doesn't she know the whole point of parenting is to ensure they have something decent to talk about during their therapy sessions?

Moms, I need to talk to you about a very serious issue affecting us dads. Don't worry, it has nothing to do with your parents, those new shoes you bought, or even "getting busy." No, this one's all about the kids. Specifically, it's about playdates.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the value of a playdate. The kids get to interact with friends in an environment outside of school. It's fun and helps teach some great social lessons, yadda yadda. Whatever. I just want to know why they have to last so friggin' long?

I don't really understand why Fifty Shades of Grey is known as "mommy porn." I mean, we don't call adult content that men enjoy "daddy porn," right? (Ew.) So why is this particular book labeled as being for mommies, when it's erotica, plain and simple?

Setting aside the worrying question of whether the term "mommy porn" is meant to degrade women's sexuality by diminishing our valid, normal, and non-mommyish erotic needs, I've decided that given the runaway bestseller response to this book, what the world needs now is some REAL mommy porn.

After all, if it's sold this well without technically even OFFERING any content that's specifically aimed at mothers, I think a Fifty Shades for Moms will be a guaranteed hit!

Please enjoy some of the steamiest scenes from my first 3 chapters:

Here's a secret:

Whenever I got a balloon as a kid (for some reason I feel like most of them came from the shoe store), I gave it a name and a backstory and, until the day it inevitably popped/fizzled, treated it like an imaginary friend of sorts.

I've never told anyone that story before because, quite frankly, I've always kind of wondered if that was a ... normal ... sort of game for a kid to play.

Normal as in, not the sort of game that would make people worry about you growing up to be a little bit ... off.

So you can imagine my relief when I heard about an 8-year-old girl playing the very same game -- with feeling, apparently. Because when the girl's dad made the tremendous mistake of trying to clean up the deflated remnants of his daughter's birthday party, well ... she left him a rather nasty note:

Ah, weddings. No matter how much you plan, there's no guarantee that everything will go off without a hitch. Take Lauren and Nick. They were saying their vows and all was going well until, that is, the officiant lost her place in the reading and accidentally implied that Nick is, uh, well endowed. Not that there's anything wrong with telling the whole congregation that Nick's penis is large and in charge, but I have a feeling that wasn't exactly what the bride and groom had in mind for their "I do"s.

This hilarious accident is the stuff the Facebook share button was made for. Check it:

LeBron James has been feeling a lot of pressure lately to help get his team, the Miami Heat, through the NBA playoffs. Down 2-1 games against the Indiana Pacers, the game on Sunday was crucial, as digging out of a 3-1 hole would make LeBron's hopes for a championship that much more slim. Needless to say, it was a really important matchup.

I'd imagine most players would work out or listen to some loud music or do a bunch of fist-pumping to get themselves raring to go. That's why I find it completely hilarious -- and kind of cute -- when I saw that not only did LeBron read a book to prepare for the Pacers, the book he was reading was none other than the YA sensation The Hunger Games.

Even though the book is about surviving and fighting and ultimately winning against all the odds (and it seemed to have worked, as the Heat went on the win the game), here are five reasons The Hunger Games may not be the best pre-playoff game reading material: