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    Aye aye aye! Are we seriously still doing this? As you may have heard, two little-known celebrities named Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married this weekend. The couple tied the knot at their home in France in an affair to remember, and basically, it's all anyone can talk about this week. Except for Jennifer Aniston, that is.

    According to Radar Online (so, yeah, do what you will with this info), Aniston banned Carson Daly from asking her about her ex-husband, his current wife, or her current fiance, Justin Theroux, during a Today show interview. Not really a big deal if you ask me -- celebs give taboo topics to reporters all the time. So, why is Radar trying to make it seem like the reason the actress didn't want to talk about Pitt and Jolie's wedding is because she's, in so many words, jealous? "She’s not exactly looking forward to offering the couple her well-wishes," the site said.

    Really, Radar. Really?

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    There are some very upset parents this week, as one school has suggested a mindfulness technique to deal with bullying. Riversdale School in New Zealand has incited the ire of several Christian parents by tossing around the idea of implementing a controversial program during the school day that involves students reflecting on their "thoughts and emotions in a natural and calm state and in the present moment."

    Apparently the technique has Buddhist ties, so obviously it will not do. The education ministry reported that at least five parents had complained about the proposal, and they were working with the school and the parents to make sure everything is dealt with appropriately.

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    Sigh. You'd think they'd be so sick and tired of living with Kris Jenner that they'd have their bags packed and ready to go, but apparently Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's new mansion is causing them all sorts of problems, which is why they haven't bothered to move into it yet.

    According to RadarOnline, Kimye is fighting over the property. Kim digs it just the way it is while Kanye wants to tear it apart to make it into his custom palace or whatever.

    And I know what you're thinking -- this sounds really familiar.

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    Hey remember when Miley Cyrus had a nice-looking young man named Jesse accept the 2014 VMA for Best Video on her behalf and it was super powerful how he raised awareness for youth homelessness and everyone was like, Awww, that Miley Cyrus isn't such a waste of oxygen after all! Well, it turns out Jesse is actually Jesse Helt, a 22-year-old who's currently wanted on a probation violation in his home state of Oregon.

    So Miley managed to pick an advocate with a criminal record, since he was busted a few years back for a drug-related burglary attempt. I'm sorry, I know I'm supposed to focus on Miley Cyrus' campaign to highlight the work being done at My Friend’s Place, but I'm kind of hung up on the fact that 1) it's pretty hard to feel sorry for this guy, and 2) I can't believe he figured it would be a good idea to appear on national television with an open warrant for his arrest.

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    Well, well, well. That sure didn't take long. Even though they're back in Atlanta living their "normal" lives, Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray have an agent, which can only mean one thing, right?

    Duh. They totally view themselves as celebrities. (Which they sort of are, but not really.)

    The two of them are now represented by MELT, as Andi confirmed via Instagram with this photo.

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    Kim Kardashian and younger sisters Kendall and Kylie have sparked outrage after the trio were caught on camera apparently texting during a moment of silence for Michael Brown at the VMAs. When rapper Common asked the audience to take a moment and think about Brown and racial injustice, Kim and her sisters appeared to take the moment of silence as their cue to update their Instagram pages.

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    Well? If you've somehow managed to avoid reading any Bachelor in Paradise spoilers up until now, that's about to change. Clare Crawley totally ruined all the suspense with one single photo on Instagram.

    Ok, so it's not the picture itself that pretty much gives away whether or not she winds up winning the whole deal, but the caption she chose to post along with the shot says it all.

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    We've long known about Olivia Wilde's amazing sense of humor and her appreciation for a good joke. As the latest celebrity to jump on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge bandwagon, the actress did something exceptionally odd: instead of pouring ice-cold water over her head, she declared that she was going to use her own breast milk instead -- before proceeding to dump what looks like milk all over herself.

    We're not sure if she's trying to make a statement about nursing, or just poking fun at her new Hot Nature Mama image, but this is definitely the strangest ALS challenge video to surface -- and let's hope it's the last!

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    If you go on a show like VH1's Dating Naked, you can safely expect two things: That you will be naked, and that you will be seen on television -- still naked. Unless, of course, you are contestant Jessie Nizewitz who is suing Viacom, VH1's parent company, for exposing her naked lower-half on the show.

    Um, okay, I have zero sympathy for this broad, am I alone in this? Jessie thinks the show should pay her $10 million for revealing her private parts to the cable-having world. I think she is insane. 

    According to Jessie, the show assured her that they would blur out her private parts by the time the show made it to prime-time. But, in a naked wrestling scene, Jessie's bits and bobbles were totally unblurred and totally on display. Whoops. 

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    Good news for those of you who love to appear as disheveled as humanly possible: this fall it will be even easier to look like a total mess, thanks to the latest jeans trend. Coming to us straight from the bowels of 1987, fashion designers have, yet again, resurrected a popular favorite: distressed boyfriend jeans, otherwise known as ripped jeans that appear shapeless from the thighs down and that you must pair with six-inch leopard-print heels so that the world doesn't mistake you for a teenage boy.

    A teenage boy who emerged from a time machine after spending the night tailgating before the big Bon Jovi concert.

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