After playing a nerd named Walter in Go Daddy's Super Bowl commercial alongside Bar Refaeli, Jesse Heiman's life has forever been changed. People are praising his gross slobbery make-me-wanna-throw-up-ASAP kiss with the model as totally awesome. Heiman has men tweeting him saying they want to be him, and women asking him to go out on dates. We're dishing on how disturbing all of this is on today's Daily Stir.

All right, let's be real here: Super Bowl commercials are the REAL deal. Zillions of people watched the big game last night, and only a fraction of them actually cared about the on-field action between the Baltimore Ravens and the 49ers. Myself, I was more into Beyonce's kickass halftime show and, well, duh, the commercials.

Sure, there were a whole lot of winners. Between Amy Poehler's Best Buy gig and the ADORABLE Budweiser Clydesdales, I was laughing then aww-ing then laughing all over again throughout the whole damn shebang. But there's one thing I couldn't help but notice during all the commercial action: the sexism.

I'm not a hardcore feminist and I get it, sex sells. The harsh reality, though, is that a lot of last night's biggest laughs came at the expense of women. Here, let's take a closer look:

Okay, New Orleans. Let's talk about this blackout at the Super Bowl. A whole 34 minutes in the dark! (Or anyway, in auxiliary lights.) What happened? Did the 49ers pull the plug for an extra-long time-out? Was Beyoncé too hot? Was it the ghost of Katrina?

There is an "official" explanation, but it's incredibly vague: An "abnormality in the system" cased the Super Bowl blackout, according to Superdome officials. A piece of monitoring equipment picked up on the abnormality and shut off the lights so the issue could be isolated. The emergency generators kicked in immediately. But they don't know what caused that "abnormality."

There have been some pretty crazy moments in the 47 years of Super Bowl history. But Super Bowl XLVII may just have taken the prize for the craziest game on record. The lights in the Superdome went out in the middle of the game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens, for crying out loud! And did you catch that Ravens player pushing the ref? Or that 108-yard touchdown run?

Nestled in between all those commercials were moments we'll be talking about for days. Just in case you missed 'em, here's what you need to know to keep up with the conversation:

Last night, my 8-year-old daughter was watching the Super Bowl with her father when the now-infamous Go Daddy ad came on.

As sexy supermodel Bar Refaeli french kissed a computer geek in an uncomfortable close-up shot, my daughter watched critically. "That woman would never kiss him in real life," she commented.

A few minutes later, her neighbor friend, also 8, came over. "Did you see the Go Daddy ad?" she squealed when she arrived. Later, my husband told me about my daughter's and her friend's reaction to the ad. I was mortified.

Year after year, these Super Bowl ads go way too far.

I'll say this about Super Bowl XLVII. Even if you weren't watching for the Baltimore Ravens to kick some 49ers rear end, those Super Bowl commercials kept you plenty entertained. And at $3.8 million for each 30-second time slot, they should have!

We had Doritos-munching goats, Amy Poehler asking naughty questions about 50 Shades of Grey, and some tearjerking moments with a certain Clydesdale. So which ads were actually worth all that cash? Let's take a look at the best of the best Super Bowl commercials for 2013:

Beyonce's Super Bowl halftime show was, in a made-up word, famazing. While you may be cheering for the San Francisco 49ers or the Baltimore Ravens, I've been rooting for team Beyonce and if you ask me, she should take home the Lombardi trophy. From her incredible leather onesie to the Destiny's Child throwback songs with Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, everything went off without a hitch -- no wardrobe malfunctions, no slips and falls, and for all the Inauguration-performance haters, no lip-syncing, either. I mean, the set list was so electric, I'm sure it's what caused a power-surge that resulted in the Superdome going dark. 

It was either Beyonce's fault, or the charged Ravens' offense. Anyway, here's what she sang!

I don't care what else happens on the field, Super Bowl 47's most shining moment came early in the night. When the students of Sandy Hook Elementary started singing "America the Beautiful," it brought an avalanche of emotion. Then Jennifer Hudson and her incredible voice joined them, and together they brought a torrent of tears to those in the stadium and on couches across the country. 

It was amazing -- one of the most moving performances I've ever seen at the Super Bowl. To see those children standing there so pure and innocent, wearing the familiar green ribbons, and to think of their 20 classmates, and six adults, who were gunned down in December, it was almost too much.