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    I don't know much about soccer, but I do know a thing or two about U.S. goalkeeper Tim Howard. It's true that I'd never heard of him before this week, but he's clearly become something of a household name since he set a World Cup record with 16 epic saves during the United States vs. Belgium match. People are so enamored with Howard, he was briefly named U.S. Secretary of Defense on Wikipedia.

    Not only is Tim Howard an extremely handsome dude who somehow manages to make the bald head/no-sideburns-beard thing look good, he's launched one of the funniest Internet memes in recent history. After his amazing effort during Tuesday's game, the hashtag #ThingsTimHowardCouldSave has gone viral, and it is ridiculously hilarious.

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    Mostly everyone across the country should be bursting with patriotic pride on June 26 -- the United States is playing Germany in the World Cup, and a win or a tie means the US gets to advance out of the Group of Death. It kind of doesn't get much more exciting, especially since the US has defied all odds by holding their own against Ghana and Portugal. Germany, however, is the heavy favorite, and after a heartbreaking, last-minute tie by the US with Portugal, soccer fans are curious to see how they will bounce back, if at all.

    You know who else is super-pumped for the game? Will Ferrell, who went to a pep rally on Wednesday, June 25 in Recife, Brazil. He was introduced by soccer-themed Teddy Roosevelt impersonator Teddy Goalsevelt and United States Soccer Federation President Sunil Gulati. But then Ferrell, clad in a USA jersey, gave a hilarious speech to guarantee a US win that is a definite must-see.

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    Wow. Just ... wow. In a new documentary film about the lives of a few soccer stars in England entitled, The Class of 92, mega-celeb dad David Beckham admits masturbating in front of teammates as part of a crazy hazing ritual.

    Yes ... I said David Beckham masturbated. In front of a bunch of other dudes. Oh, and he was only 16 years old when he did it. And OMG I feel a little bit wrong for the mere act of typing those words.

    Just wait until you hear what he had to say about what went down.

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    Here's how it goes … at 3, my kids won trophies for soccer, which I assure you were not deserved. How do I know? Um, there were times my daughter would stop kicking the ball to chase a dragon fly. And, I could be wrong, but I don't think my son was bending it like Beckham when he would pick up the ball with his hands and throw it to a friend mid-game.  I know, it wasn't about them deserving their awards … they all get trophies -- because that's what we do to our millennial children, we make them think that they're the best at everything.  We praise them constantly and tell them everyone is a winner, leaving them little motivation, and little idea of what the real world is like.

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    What's worse, 1) police responding to a knock-down domestic altercation the night before your wedding, or 2) enduring the media scrutiny afterwards because you're a famous sports figure? For soccer star Hope Solo, I'm thinking the answer might be 3) having the audio recording of the 911 call released to the public four months later.

    Police in Kirkland, Washington have completed their investigation into the incident that happened at Solo's home on November 12, 2012, and no charges have been filed. However, the freshly-released audio of the 911 call reveals just how bizarrely violent Solo's pre-wedding party got that night. Booze! Fighting! A stun gun! A domestic violence arrest for Solo's then-fiance Jerramy Stevens! As for the instigator of the prenuptial melee, the voice on the call would only say, "We won't go there."

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    Dear Lady Who Cut Me Off in the Carpool Lane,

    Seriously? What is the matter with you? I was waiting in that line for nearly half an hour and you thought you would just sidle your way in? There's this unwritten rule about lines that says: Wait at the end when you arrive. Also, there's a rule about cutting people off that says: Don't cut off people you will see at tomorrow's PTA meeting.

    Did it not dawn on you how easily I could find out who you are? It's not like you did this on the highway ... we were going to the same place. I saw your kids get into your minivan, as you were a mere five feet in front of me!

    Also, you have stickers of your entire family on your back windshield (which already makes me dislike you), so it wasn't like I needed to be David Caruso to put the pieces together.

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    In what's one of the more disturbing news stories of the day, three teens, ages 15 and 16, allegedly killed a volunteer soccer official after an amateur game recently. The official was 41-year-old father Richard Nieuwenhuizen, and according to the Globe and Mail, he "was doing what he loved: Watching his son play soccer and helping out his local club by running the touchline as a volunteer linesman." The three boys are set to appear before a judge on Thursday on charges of manslaughter after they allegedly seriously assaulted Nieuwenhuizen. They're, understandably, banned for life in their soccer league, as well, if found guilty.

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    Even if you've never watched professional soccer a day in your life, you might want to turn on the TV today to watch David Beckham play in his last game for the L.A. Galaxy? Why? Because what David Beckham did for soccer in America since he joined the team in 2007 is epic, folks. Plus, even though he says he's not retiring, who knows. What if this was his last pro game ever and you missed it? And this, a championship game? You'd never forgive yourself. But even if you're not a sports fan, there are plenty of other reasons not to miss this game.

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    Oh. My. GAWWWWWDDDD! Imagine taking a leisurely driving tour around Los Angeles, glancing over at a man standing on the sidewalk wearing nothing but his boxers, laughing a little -- and then trying to pick your jaw up off the floor because you realize you are actually looking at David Beckham in his underwear.

    No, this isn't a dream -- or at least it wasn't for a group of tourists who literally got the sight of their lives after looking out their van window and seeing David Beckham standing there in nothing more than a very snug-fitting pair of boxer briefs. (Wait a minute -- I thought he was a tighty-whities man?)

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    Have you ever looked at super-hot athletes and wondered what exactly they were wearing underneath their uniforms? You know -- have you ever pondered over whether or not they prefer boxers or briefs?

    Well, Celebuzz dared to ask the hottest soccer dad in the world that question, and his answer may surprise you. While he does wear H&M boxer briefs sometimes, well -- because he kind of has to, believe it or not, David Beckham also wears tighty-whities, and he's not ashamed about it in the least.

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