9 Truly Terrifying Things About the Sochi Games (VIDEO)

LOL 9

sochiOh Sochi Olympics, you just sound better and better every time we hear about you. Who here wishes they could jet off to Russia and experience all this exciting frontier of incomplete infrastructure has to offer? Think of the viral Instagram possibilities. And the crazy stories you'll tell your grandkids, if you actually do survive a week in Sochi.

Okay, seriously? The stories are starting to scare me. After spending $51 billion (a record), it sounds like this remote resort-ish town is still shitastically underprepared for the Olympic Games, which open TOMORROW. Maybe it's not as bad as it seems. Maybe once the games begin, we'll all focus on the athletics and not the uncovered manholes. But for now, zoiks. Reports from Sochi are reading like a Russian novel.

1. Two words: Exploding toothpaste. Homeland Security is warning airports that terrorists may try to smuggle explosives on board via tubes of toothpaste. Try Detonyte! It brightens your teeth with a lethal flash of fire!

2. Your hotel room is not ready. Also: What hotel room? CNN booked 11 rooms 5 months ago, but when the gang showed up, there was only 1 room for them, and the curtain rod was broken. Other problems: No heat, broken elevator, no floor in the reception area, can't flush toilet paper.

3. Dangerous face water. Stacy St. Clair was advised, "Do not use on your face because it contains something very dangerous." She says she's washing her face with Evian "like I'm a Kardashian or something."

4. Twin toilets. We told you about the twin toilets already. No, they're not in someone's home. They're in a public restroom, and apparently it's fairly common for there not to be dividers between toilets. Honestly, if I were in Sochi, I don't think I'd ever have a single bowel movement no matter how much coffee and fiber I ate.

5. Even the Flying Tomato is afraid. Shaun White refuses to compete on an Olympic snowboarding course that is "like jumping out of a building," as Canadian snowboarder Sebastien Toutant put it. The course has been responsible for numerous injuries including a broken collar bone and a concussion. Here's a snowboarder's view of the course. Also, Shaun White wants us to stop calling him the Flying Tomato, which makes me sad.

6. Try not to be so gay. The deputy prime minister of Russia wants to assure gay travelers that they have nothing to worry about, despite the country's homophobic policies. Just, you know, "Please do not touch kids. That's the only thing." Yes, he really said that. To the gays.

7. Uncovered man holes. This photo pretty much speaks for itself.

8. Dogs have taken over Sochi. There are thousands of stray dogs roaming the streets. Officials have been taking the dogs into custody, and one owner of a pest control company says he's got a contract to exterminate the poor things.

9. The Sochi Olympic flame has gone out 44 times. Granted, the torch was probably tired from the longest torch relay in history. But still, that can't bode well for the games.

Are you worried about how the Sochi Olympic Games are going to go?

 

Image via HarryCNN/Twitter

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bugaem bugaem

oh godddd, this propaganda of how messed up russia is makes me sick already. Anything to make them look bad. The olympic games in Sochi will be amazing, Russia makes sure to make all events that take place there be at the highest standards, and especially something like the olympic games. And people need to learn to be respectful of the russian culture, just like we are so tolerant of everyone else's culture and sexual orientation and everything else. I'm talking about the toilet thing for example. And they don't accept gay people, that's their thing, not just the government, a lot of russian people do not accept and do not understand gay. That is just how it is, and why cant we be more respectful about somebody else's beliefs. If you don't like it, noone is forcing you to go there or even watch the games. So much stuff is exagerrated and lied about in the media about how bad things are there, its just ridiculous.

Laura Walteros

Are you asking why we have a problem with the belief that LGBT people should be put into jail or allowed to be beaten on the streets just because people can't 'understand' gay?  Why the government not only turns a blind eye to the murders and humiliation that they have to face on a daily basis, but aids in the cause with their 'gay propaganda' law? I'll remind you that a group of twenty-something year old thugs lured a teenage boy into a meeting which they pretended was a date, then kidnapped him and proceeded to point a gun to his head while forcing him to sodomize himself with a bottle....while they videotaped it and GLOATED?! And that the poor boy DIED because of internal wounds?


Are you asking why animal lovers have a problem seeing hundreds of perfectly good dogs killed off? Are Telling me that all the photos currently circulating at unfinished buildings and hotels, and dangerous slopes are all photoshopped, or that they are going to be fixed by today or tomorrow? They had plenty of time to prepare for the games, and they did not. Rushing into getting everything finished in the last minutes is downright embarrassing. 

bugaem bugaem

Again, your information is all based on the same media sources. Of course I am not defending situations where people are being killed because they are gay, and nor does anyone in Russia defend that. They are not animals there. A murder is a murder in any country no matter what the cause is. There are plenty of ourageous murders here in the US as well. I am talking about general peaceful population who do not understand gay because that is the belief they grew up with, and it is part of their culture.


As far as everything else goes, dogs included, yes I believe it is a great exaggeration based on very questionable sources. Speaking of dogs, it is kind of a normal thing there, dogs living outside, having puppies, creating more dogs, there are cats too, you'd be surprised with all kinds of things that go on there that would seem wild and outrageous to you but normal to them, because of again - culture.

Taisie Taisie

bugaem - I'm sorry, but no, I just simply cannot respect the whole homophobic-homosexual situation (repression) just because it is Russia, and "they don't accept gay people, that's their thing". It may be, as you pointed out, their cultural tenet, but that still does not make it right.

bugaem bugaem

And that, Taisie, is your right and opinion that you are entitled to.  I have a different opinion. To you it is not right like you said, but to them it is. For the record I am in no way against gay people and all their rights. But I am also in no way against people who do not accept them, because like I said, everyone has an opinion that they are entitled to. What I was trying to say in my original post is that the media exaggerations and lies about Russia's unpreparedness and poor conditions are way too much, as well as disrespect to others' cultural beliefs.

PRIMA487 PRIMA487

I think it's stupid to say a particular nation has a culture bias based on what a president says. Gays have always been around and they will continue to be around. Putin is a hardliner with old Soviet Union views. This "culture" has produced some of the best ballet dancers, composers, and writers,all gay. Seems to me someone else(not media) is spouting "propaganda".

bugaem bugaem

As someone who is very familiar with the Russian culture, I am not really aware of any great writers, composers or dancers that are gay. Please educate me.



And secondly, again as someone very familiar with the Russian culture, I can attest to the fact that the majority of russian population share the views on gay rights with the president, because like I have already stated previously - it is part of their culture.

PRIMA487, I'm wondering how educated about the Russian people and culture are you that you feel competent making statements like that.

Kate Cooley

OK... did we really not get that Russia is a mess? Comedians made jokes for decades about it. None of this surprises me in the least. You'd think at least the condition of the buildings would have been something the Olympic Committee would have looked into. But the rest? Not really a shock. These are all things - including the human rights issues - that our country has turned a blind eye on for a long time in the name of fostering peace with Russia. Of course, we do have a history of that. *coughStalincough*

And no gay Russian Dancers? Nureyev is pirouetting in his grave. 

bugaem bugaem

Yeah and comedians are definitely very reliable sources of information. All your perception of russian culture is based on american media which is bias towards Russia and have been bias always. I guess you can not be blamed for thinking the way you think because you have been fed this since I don't know when. Therefore, I rest my case simply knowing that the olympic games are going to be epic this year. And who cares what America thinks, because the rest of the world is going to have a blast.

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