As a basketball player, Kobe Bryant's marriage to his wife Vanessa has had some insane lows and some very public highs. Until recently, it seemed like the two would divorce. Then they were "back on." But just a few days ago, his wife showed up in public without her ring and now all reports say they ARE getting divorced. So what gives?
The answer for Bryant -- and many other couples -- is probably very simple: Divorce isn't easy. People go back and forth on their decisions to leave or stay with a spouse, sometimes for years. And as far as I have seen, that seems pretty normal.
My sister and I recently had a discussion. She was baffled by the notion that someone I told her was "definitely" getting divorced now seemed to gush about her husband on Facebook. But having been married almost a decade myself, I totally get it.
When you marry and you have children with a person, you invest enormous amounts of love, care, and time into them. Those investments are hard to just let go. Even if the marriage is bad. Even if you hate one another. No one wants to just end things with a spouse. It would be impossible to make a clean break.
I can't even imagine leaving my husband. But if I did, I would have to assume that we would still see a lot of one another and that the old attraction would come back. Maybe it would even be hotter. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and maybe when he isn't living with you, it's easy to forget the way he doesn't do the dishes and drives you crazy by not taking out the trash.
Maybe even bigger problems grow smaller with absence. Maybe cheating seems less important when faced with loneliness and constant fighting seems silly when faced with being alone.
No, it isn't surprising at all that people would go back and forth and change their minds. Sure, it might not be awesome for the kids. But it's real and it makes perfect sense. Divorce isn't a simple thing. It isn't just a hop, skip, and jump to happy town after you leave a husband.
People go back and forth for years. That is no shock. If celebrities do it, too, then it's still no surprise. We need to cut people some slack in matters of the heart. They are rarely simple and easy.
Do you know people who go back and forth on divorce?
Image via TMZ