olympics greeterI've never been very good at manufacturing enthusiasm on demand, so my heart goes out to this hilariously deadpan Olympics greeter. Forced to feign high levels of excitement for hours on end like some kind of one-woman pep squad, how does she cope? By turning her shift into the most deliciously sarcastic stand-up comedy show ever.

It. Is. Awesome. Especially because she's totally "doing her job," technically. Like when she addresses the crowd with an obligatory "Who's excited?" Answered only with a lone, pathetic "Wooo," this greeter doesn't resort to the standard "Hey, you can do better than that!" Instead, she launches into this bit of comedic brilliance: "Thank you, single lady. One person has responded," she says, flatly, before continuing in the same dryly humorous tone ...

"I believe we're all cheering on the inside because ... we're ready. We're excited. My mouth is dry, I need some water but I'm still talking. Because I'm that happy, I'm going to overcome it. Mouth dry ... still talking ... still excited. I cannot contain my excitement, everybody. This is a special day ... We're going to be telling our children's children's children's children's children about it ... I'll tell them I worked at the Olympics. Some of you will tell them you watched the Olympics ... I'll tell them I listened to it outside and I heard a bit. It was faint but I still heard it. I heard them having fun and celebrating. And I felt happy inside. I felt a warmth in my heart. I'm here til 2 a.m. everybody. This is dedication ... I wish my mum could see me now."

Oh my god, somebody give this woman a TV show. Please. She's a freaking riot. Just watch:

"Mouth dry ... still talking ... still excited." Genius, I tell you! Why aren't there more people like this woman in the world?!

Would you crack up laughing if you saw this greeter at the Olympics?

 

Image via ollygourley/YouTube