I know what you're thinking -- why should I care about some pitcher's busted up elbow? I know. It doesn't sound that fascinating if you're not a sports fan, but trust me, there's nothing about San Francisco Giants star Brian Wilson that isn't fascinating. Forget that Dos Equis guy, Brian Wilson is definitely the most interesting man in the world for one simple reason: his beard. Who cares that he had the most games saved in the MLB in 2010, forget that he helped the Giants win the World Series, and never mind that he's one helluva a lip-syncer. Facial hair is what makes Brian stand out as a god among mortals. Anyone who's able to grow such lustrous chin pubes has gotta have magical powers, right?
And now, now that he's reached the pinnacle of his beard growing, now, when it looks so beautifully perfect, now, when he thinks he and his beard are on top of the world, he gets the news that he may require season-ending surgery. It's heartbreaking.
Even the most interesting men in the world with the most incredible face hairs on the planet can be on the receiving end of bad news, too, I guess. The magic beard's powers only go so far.
It's the first week of the season, so who knows -- maybe Brian's elbow won't need to be operated on. Maybe he'll take a few weeks off and be back to normal by the All Star break. We'll all be watching to see how he fairs, and we'll all be watching to see how that beard holds up.
It's possible it's even more outstanding than any of us yet understand.
Check out the the beard evolution:
Come on. Seriously. How awesome is that beard?
Photo via Ezra Shaw/Getty