10 Athlete-Inspired Baby Names to Avoid at All Costs


baby footballNaming your baby after a beloved family member or friend is so over. So are such infant-naming trends as choosing a moniker based on a city (Brooklyn? Paris?) or iconic musician (Jagger? Garcia?). The newest fad? As any superfan knows, these days it's all about naming your baby after your favorite athlete.

Apparently in Nebraska, one of the hottest names for the past two years running has been Taylor (after Taylor Martinez of the Huskers, of course).

Sure, why not? A successful athlete is as good a role model as any. Unless, that is, they're a scandalously successful athlete ... and lord knows there's no lack of outrageous characters in sports.

Hey, I'm not judging, but if I were going to name my kid after a pro-athlete, here are some names I would definitely avoid ...

  1. Tim: Unless you want your little guy growing up with a god complex, naming him after Tim Tebow (whoops, I mean Jesus) probably isn't the best plan.
  2. Jeremy: Perhaps I'm being unfair. One thing you can say for Jeremy Mayfield is that he keeps on trying ... when he fails one drug test, he takes another. And another. And another!
  3. Plaxico: Though I guess naming your child after Plaxico Burress would serve as a lifelong reminder to not keep your gun in the waistband of your sweatpants. Ouch, who shot me in the leg, man!? Oh ...
  4. Kevin: No one wants a kid who runs around the playground spewing insults like Kevin Garnett and then coming up with lame excuses for them (nah, I said cancerous, not cancer patient!).
  5. O.J.: What, like I could leave that one out?
  6. Dennis: We'd all love for our sons to be five-time NBA champions like Dennis Rodman when they grow up, but the orgy-broadcasting and stripper-spanking? Not so much.
  7. Shaquille: Some may argue me on this one, but considering Shaquille O'Neal's stance on infidelity, parents would be wise to think ahead (an endless stream of angry girlfriends egging your house, showing up on your doorstep sobbing, you get the picture).
  8. Michael: Look, if you name your kid after Michael Vick, don't buy him any pets!! For the love of god. Please.
  9. Tonya: Can't forget about the girls now, can we? If naming your daughter after Tonya Harding isn't bad mojo, I don't know what is.
  10. Kobe: Homophobic slurs, beating people up in church ... it's all in a day's work for Kobe Bryant. Unless you're a criminal defense lawyer, I really don't think you're prepared for that child.

Would you name your baby after a famous athlete?


Image via Kyle and Kelly Adams/Flickr

athletes, scandal


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

LikeA... LikeAVirgin

I knew as soon as I clicked on this post that TIM would be the number one athlete baby name to avoid. The Stir has a huge problem with Tim Tebow. The "journalism" around here is getting really predictable!!

fave82 fave82


3Happ... 3HappylKidds

My brother has 2 boys.. Names are Jacobee and Bronsin. Both guys from the Boston REd Sox. . I don't get it.

Hot_M... Hot_Mamma_of_2

A lot of ppl think that my DH and I named our son after a football player but we didn't, we got his first name from a a baby book and his middle is from a family memeber. His name is Braylen Edwards.

nonmember avatar guest

Is this a joke? Tebow seems to have high moral standards unlike any others mentioned. Besides if you're secure in your personal beliefs why does it matter what Tebow says? I'll never get it.

Sidthe Sidthe

I was planning on naming my son Tim...after my daddy...got nothing to do with Tim Tebow and just cause it's the same name as someone famous don't mean that is why the parents chose the name(it may be I'll give you that) And anyway just because the kid is named for that person doesn't mean they're going to act like that famous athlete/celeb whatever it is. How about everybody just name their kid what they want and nobody say "You're daughter Lindsey is totally going to end up drugged out like Lindsey Lohan."

lindy... lindylouwho

What's with all the hate for Tebow?  So what, he's religious.  I can think of a lot worse.

Lucre... LucretiaMcEvil

Plaxico sounds like a plastics or pharmaceutical company.

Jessica Moseley

I think everyones problem with Tebow is he is a religious fanatic. Everything he does has some type of godly connotation. It's kinda annoying. I just had a friend on facebook who every single post was about "Jesus is coming! Oh Come dear Jesus!" < or something like that. He was promptly deleted. Worshiping is fine. Fanaticism is not.

PonyC... PonyChaser

Ms. Burt has a serious problem with Tebow, so she chooses to bash him every chance she gets. I still fail to understand how someone living a moral life, excelling at one's job, starting a charitable organization, and helping sick children rates up there with OJ Simpson (who killed his wife and her friend), Michael Vick (who killed dogs for fun), or any of the other fine examples of humanity on the list. Amazing.

1-10 of 46 comments 12345 Last