I feel like the debacle on the sidelines for San Diego Chargers kicker Nick Novak should be paired with one of those headlines you see on the tabloids right beside your gum and Snickers in the grocery store checkout line. "ATTENTION! Football players sometimes get the overwhelming urge to empty their bladders too! They are REAL!"
I know at least one CBS cameraman who would snap that mag up. He's the guy who insisted on keeping the camera trained on Novak as he urinated on the sidelines during this weekend's loss to the Denver Broncos. Really, buddy, was that necessary?
Bloggers are joking today that "when you gotta go, you gotta go," but it's no joke! Sometimes you really do have to urinate: and facing a 53-yard field goal attempt seems to qualify. Novak hunkered down beside a giant Gatorade cooler and some poor guy was tasked with holding a towel on the other side to ensure the kicker didn't get carted off for indecent exposure.
Here Novak was in an pretty untenable position. He could pee on the sidelines as privately as possible or tell Chargers' Coach Norv Turner, "Dude, I know I'm the go-to guy for kicking, but I really have to vamoose down to the john, think you can hold up a nationally television game for me?" Which do you think was the better option?
With this team already in the fourth quarter, making a run for the potty wasn't really feasible. But Mother Nature doesn't care if you're a professional athlete or a joe schmoe. If she says your bladder's a burstin', there's no negotiating with her. Which makes CBS focusing on the moment seem pretty petty, doesn't it?
How about everyone stop laughing and recognize that Novak was pretty brave? Have you ever tried to pee with someone standing there, staring at you? It's called a bashful bladder, folks, and it affects 1 in 10 guys. But Nick Novak didn't have to relieve himself in front of ONE person. He had an entire stadium putting the pressure on him.
Of course, thanks to some guy at CBS who can't quite believe football players are just like the rest of us, he also had go to share that little moment with the world. So now we know, when football players have to pee, they do it just like the rest of us. He did what a guy had to do! Take a look:
Image via YouTube