Are you sitting down? I do hope you're sitting down, because this latest sports scandal is gonna shock the daylights right outta you. Okay, you ready? Get this: Jeremy Mayfield, former golden boy of NASCAR, has been arrested. Wait, it gets even MORE shocking. He was arrested on charges of meth possession.
Meth! Whodathunkit? A NASCAR dude?
Come on, really? Let's face facts: Meth is to NASCAR what steroids are to every other sport. Looky here, a hillbilly race car driver can't live on moonshine alone, now can he?
Perhaps it appears I'm being somewhat unfair to Mayfield, dismissing him as one more example of a silly stereotype.
Except I'm not. Because a quick review of how Mayfield spent the last several years shows that he's not just one more example of a rotgut-swillin' stereotype. He's kind of the reason for that rotgut-swillin' stereotype.
Allow me to elaborate:
It all started when Mayfield failed a random drug test. And then another random drug test. And then his stepmother Lisa filed an affidavit saying that Jeremy not only used meth regularly, he cooked it himself. Mayfield responded by calling her a "whore" who "shot and killed" his dad (whose death was supposedly a suicide). Then Lisa flipped out and showed up drunk at Mayfield's house, where she punched one of his employees and kicked his wife in the crotch.
(Hmm, they should really do a Real Housewives of West Virginia. Imagine the crotch-kicking possibilities!)
So you see, it's completely unfair for Mayfield to be treated like a non-NASCAR guy who got caught with meth (again). Meth is woven into the very fabric of Jeremy Mayfield's culture. Kind of like peyote and the Native Americans.
He's just a good ol' boy ... never meanin' no harm ... been in trouble with the law since the day he was born ...
Are you surprised Jeremy Mayfair got caught with meth?
Image via Darryl Moran/Flickr