When the average human being gets pulled over by the cops, she slinks down in her seat. It's bad enough the neighbors are probably going to recognize that "proud mom of a high honor roll student bumper sticker" anyway, but one does want to at least pretend to have a low profile when caught speeding. In case you haven't guessed yet, NFL star Darnell Dockett is not an average human being. He's the type who live tweets when he's been pulled over by the cops.
The defensive tackle for the Arizona Cardinals kept up a steady stream of insults against the cops on his verified Twitter account yesterday that proved once again that when the NFL is done with all this lockout business, the next item on its agenda should be a device that tests a player's IQ before unlocking a Twitter account for use. Just take a look at some of Dockett's idiocy gems:
I asked the cop why he pulled me over he said I was speeding I said BULLSHIT! But give me the ticket that's when he asked to search my car!
I think they (POLICE) going to get a search warrant cuz they sitting here looking like fools waiting on something!
OK so now I think they letting me Go cop just brought my DL's and registration! Yeah I'm bout to be out this MOFO!
That's a teeny sampling of around a dozen insults against the cops, where he called them fools, accused them of lying, and finally ended with that little hurrah about getting off scot-free. But now that they've read all those insults, Mr. Dockett can count on never getting away with a cracked windshield or busted taillight ever again. And he may just be getting that speeding ticket after all.
Of course Dockett isn't the first NFL player to let loose a stream of thought diarrhea across the interwebs. There was the Eagles' offensive lineman Todd Herremans' homophobic tweet about True Blood last summer, Pittsburgh Steeler Rashard Mendenhall praising Osama bin Laden on Twitter, and of course Chad Ochocinco's infamous gametime tweet that cost him $25,000 for violating the NFL's rules about not using social media during play.
Tweeting troubles have actually reached epidemic proportions for the NFL. So here's what I propose. When they finish with their little lockout fiasco, they talk to the folks who make those machines that drunk drivers blow in to start their cars. You know the ones, they test the blood alcohol content of the guys and gals who have had a DUI. If it comes up clean, the car will start, and the criminal can actually drive their vehicle to work. Only this machine will test said NFL star's IQ at the moment they want to tweet. If it comes up "stupid," Twitter will lock down, and they won't announce that they just fooled the cops into not searching their darn Escalade.
What do you think of Dockett's tweeting debacle?
Image via Twitter