NBA Star's New Name 'Metta World Peace' Has Hilarious Results

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Ron ArtestThe hilarious folks at The Onion couldn't have come up with satire this good. Lakers star Ron Artest is changing his name to Metta World Peace. Yes, you might recognize his "real" name. He's the basketball player more famous for brawling than balling, and he picked "World Peace." Again, The Onion did NOT make this up. But he's giving their kind some fantastic material.

"Metta" is a nod to the Buddhist virtue of kindness, and "world peace" needs no explanation. But now the Internet has to jive "Metta World Peace" with all those reports on Artest's violent behavior

He might have a different name, but this IS still the guy who climbed into the stands during his days as an Indiana Pacer to fight with a FAN, prompting a 72-game suspension, the longest ever in NBA history. The same guy who clotheslined J.J. Barea during a game. The same guy who ... I could go on and on and on with the very NON-peaceful.

Folks, the headlines alone are going to be worth the name change (which is expected to come in late August after his court date) for the fans. Especially based on the explanation that "World Peace" will be his last name. So where he would traditionally be listed as Artest, you know, in headlines, in most sports stories, now it will just say "World Peace."

Confused? Let's take a look at what you'll be seeing on the sports pages, courtesy of Ron Artest, er, excuse me, Metta World Peace:

  • World Peace Blamed for Riot at LA's Staples Center
  • Clippers Fan Taken to Hospital After Dangerous Encounter With World Peace
  • World Peace Locker Room Rampage Caught on Video
  • TMZ EXCLUSIVE: World Peace Mugshot Here!! (PHOTO)
  • World Peace Tears Teammate to Pieces on Hardwood
  • World Peace Retires

Oh, I know I can't wait for this. These are the sports pages that will be frameable. Here's hoping Artest doesn't try to turn over a new leaf to match the new name!

Do you really see the Ron Artest who has stirred up the league with all that violent behavior suddenly becoming a guy who symbolizes World Peace on the court? Feel free to add your own headlines in comments!

 

Image via bridgetds/Flickr

athletes, basketball, nba

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nonmember avatar jasmine

while i can agree the name is a bit ridiculous, ron artest has become dedicated to working on his issues through seeking therapy and working with a life coach to better cope with his emotions and not be THAT guy beating up fans.
give him a little credit for a turn around. jeez

madfoot madfoot

oh jeanne, you're funny! When my husband told me about this story this morning, I said, "ok, what does that mean?" because I thought he was making a joke. Though I also agree with Jasmine -- if this helps him turn things around for himself, hey, more power to him!

nonmember avatar Christine

My husband tells me that he donated his Champion Ring to make money for mental illness research (hubby not sure about which research, but it was scientific research of some kind).

evwsq... evwsquared

From what I've read, he's totally turned his life around since those days, and his acts of charity since then are to be commended. He's an advocate for mental health treatment, and he's working to erase the stigma of seeking mental health treatment. While it's easy to make fun of him for this name thing (because, granted, it's funny), I don't think that you should perpetuate an image of him as a rabble rouser, because what he's turned himself into is far from that.

nonmember avatar metta hot piece

Guys, about a month ago Mr. PEACE violently attacked a man half his size during a game because his team was losing. Know what you're talking about before you post.

nonmember avatar keith

That wasn't Artest in the JJ incident it was Bynum get your facts straight

nonmember avatar Pitching

Since playing for the Lakers, I think he has cleaned up his act. Though I can still tell that he can be bad tempered, he is no way as bad as before. I think for his coach, as long as he turns up for games and training, who cares what he changes his name into.

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