Finger Biting Hockey Player Belongs in Kindergarten (VIDEO)

Cynthia Dermody

Burrows bites Bergeron

As a professional mediator and disciplinarian, I constantly tell children to stop arguing and hitting for godsakes over every little stupid thing. I've taken kids to the ER for other kid-inflected injuries. So I know a bite when I see it. And THAT is a bite. If you missed Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs last night because you had better things to do or don't care, this is what everyone is talking about today: The Bite.

Vancouver Canucks Alex Burrows allegedly gave Bruins Patrice Bergeron a nip on the finger during a scrum. Seriously, the game was worse than being in a preschool room with not just two but several dozen toddlers.

The whole game, which Vancouver won, was one long string of penalties, big boys holding, tripping, sticking, and, of course, the biting. A little cut under the nail. Bergeron showed the ref, but he didn't believe him. He even put a Band-Aid on his boo-boo.

Bergeron says he did it. Burrows says he didn't do it. Bergeron says he did .... AHHHH!

You probably break up fights all day, too -- watch the video and tell me, is this or isn't this a bite ...

I thought so. Do we send Burrows to his room, meaning a suspension for the rest of the series? That's what the Bruins want. They know a lot about biting. It's not the first time it's happened in the history of the NHL. Oh, not for a long shot.

Bruins forward Marc Savard, who has a concussion and is missing the finals, was suspended for one game after biting Toronto forward Darcy Tucker in 2003. But players on Ottawa, Pittsburgh, and Philadelphia have all had biting incidents. The bunch of biters.

It's just amazing the extremes on which NHL players fall. One minute they are superhumans you look on with awe, the next they are just babies. Take Steven Stamkos, the Tampa Bay Lightning player who in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference final against Boston got caught in a slap-shot crossfire and took a puck to the nose. It was one of the worst things I've ever seen. He fell to the ice, grasping his bloody and battered face, got up, and skated off the ice. By himself. A baseball player would have just laid there and waited to be carried off.

Not five minutes later, Stamkos was back on the ice -- with a full cage -- his shattered and skinless nose still gushing blood. Hockey players are without question the toughest athletes on earth.

The guy who is basically the strict high school vice principal of the NHL will investigate The Bite to determine if Burrows gets thrown out for a game or the series. It's the right thing, but something tells me it still won't make a difference in the end. Once a biter always a biter?

Did that Vancouver player bite the Bruin in your opinion?

Read More