The Kentucky Derby takes place this Saturday, May 7. Can't believe it's already Derby time! "America's original, extravagant springtime sports party" always makes me think of big beautiful hats, derby-goers dressed to the nines, and of course, horses. Lots of gorgeous, Thoroughbred horses racing one and a quarter mile in Louisville, Kentucky. It all seems so serious. Except the thing is ... given some of the contending horses' silly names, you just know not everyone is taking the race 100 percent seriously. I mean, really, some of the horses' names have got to be a joke! Whether or not it's intentional, here are 7 Derby Horses' names that are good for a giggle ...
1. Archarcharch - Try saying that five times fast. Hell. Try three. I'm guessing they just gave the horse this name so that people who bet on her would get tongue-twisted whilst cheering!
2. Comma to the Top - Is this a horse's name or something my English teacher shouted at us before our AP exam? Just sayin'.
3. Twinspired - Wow, two words in ONE! I can think of other "twinspires": Two Hayley Millses or Lindsay Lohans in The Parent Trap movies, the Winklevosses, Jenna and Barbara Bush, Knox Léon and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt, etc. Oh, wait, this is a horse? That doesn't even have a twin? Boring!
4. Watch Me Go - Yes, this is a name, not a tagline. I really feel bad for this horse, because apparently her owners thought that if they didn't make her name a command, no one would pay attention to her. Obviously we are going to watch her go. She's a racehorse, for cryin' out loud!
5. Mucho Macho Man - How much ya wanna bet this horse comes prancing into the Derby dressed in drag?
6. Midnight Interlude - Maybe there's a romantic reason this poor horse got such a cheesy, pretentious name, but I doubt it. By trying far too hard, its owners ended up giving their Thoroughbred a name that sounds like it was one of Beethoven's castoff symphonies ... or a novel Danielle Steel once burned it was so bad.
7. Pants on Fire - This is my favorite BY FAR. Clearly whoever named this horse has a brillz sense of humor! Does the name also mean the horse is a liar, liar? (Tee hee.)
Which Derby Horse will you be rooting for on Saturday?
Image via Lisa Andres/Flickr
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Comments 23
"Twinspired" is rather clever, actually, considering that Churchill Downs - the site of the Derby - is known for it's "twin spires" that tower over the clubhouse.
I can't stand the derby! I lived in Louisville and can't tell you how horrible it is when the world quits watching! Not a fan of PETA, but I'm sad to say that the horses are beaten and given drugs in the off season just so they will perform for the one day a year that people pay attention and more importantly, place bets that end up in the owners pockets so they can continue to mistreat them. I've boycotted ALL events leading up to it, including Thunder Over Louisville!
We do a Kentucky Derby party every year. We have a purse for the person who has the losing horse. So everyone is standing around yelling SLOW DOWN SLOW DOWN!!!!!!!
Having grown up around racehorses all of my life I have seen very few very few cases of abuse where a multimillion dollar animal is at risk. donot be ludicrous...the time and effort that goes into training a horse for the derby is not a "for one day" event. It is a process that involves daily attention and year round racing. Watch the story of Barbaro and the effort and money that went into saving him that is how most owners and trainers feel about their horses. Peta? seriously is that where you are getting your information? The animal activist group that put to death 90 % of the animals it "liberated".
Thank you, Kisses... that comment really burned me, but you said it better, and before I could. I cried when Barbaro died... I was SO pulling for that boy.
I'm not sure how these Derby horses get their names but our horses got named from whatever their parents names were, for example, the first colt we had we named My Chips are Hot, his dad was Hot Chocolate Chip and the moms name was Cookie Queen. I don't know if they do the same thing with the Derby horses or not but thats how we did it.
Also, for the comment about the horses being mistreated, I think you are seriously mistaken, they probably live in a better house than you. Most of them live in air-conditioned stalls with concrete walls and every other perk a horse could have. We trained horses and trust me, you don't spend thousands of dollars training a horse to mistreat them, you want them in good shape to be able to win and get that title. Its not a one day thing, there are other races/contests besides just the Kentucky Derby.
My husband and I have trained race horses for years. Trust me they are treated better than we even treat ourselves. I even had a horse that was Derby nominated back in the late 90's. That horse was pampered like you would not believe. Hot mash 3 times a day, the freshest hay and a stall so clean that the spiders moved out because there where no flies to eat. But he still had to work. He raced about every 8 to 10 days, plus he had to workout, swim and jog everyday. Plus because of the caliber horse that he was we had to ship him all over the eastern half of the US to get him into races that he was needing. I have seen the backside of more tracks then the inside of hotel/motel rooms. I have slept in my truck just so that I could get him to a race on time and in great condition. We never got into the breeding part, but from what I understand most horses names are a combination of their parents, stable names or owners names. Some owners just like to have fun too. But really if every horse had a normal name, how many would you remember and talk about later.