7 Kentucky Derby Horse Names That Must Be a Joke

Maressa Brown

kentucky derby horseThe Kentucky Derby takes place this Saturday, May 7. Can't believe it's already Derby time! "America's original, extravagant springtime sports party" always makes me think of big beautiful hats, derby-goers dressed to the nines, and of course, horses. Lots of gorgeous, Thoroughbred horses racing one and a quarter mile in Louisville, Kentucky. It all seems so serious. Except the thing is ... given some of the contending horses' silly names, you just know not everyone is taking the race 100 percent seriously. I mean, really, some of the horses' names have got to be a joke! Whether or not it's intentional, here are 7 Derby Horses' names that are good for a giggle ...

1. Archarcharch - Try saying that five times fast. Hell. Try three. I'm guessing they just gave the horse this name so that people who bet on her would get tongue-twisted whilst cheering!

2. Comma to the Top - Is this a horse's name or something my English teacher shouted at us before our AP exam? Just sayin'.

3. Twinspired - Wow, two words in ONE! I can think of other "twinspires": Two Hayley Millses or Lindsay Lohans in The Parent Trap movies, the Winklevosses, Jenna and Barbara Bush, Knox Léon and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt, etc. Oh, wait, this is a horse? That doesn't even have a twin? Boring!

4. Watch Me Go - Yes, this is a name, not a tagline. I really feel bad for this horse, because apparently her owners thought that if they didn't make her name a command, no one would pay attention to her. Obviously we are going to watch her go. She's a racehorse, for cryin' out loud! 

5. Mucho Macho Man - How much ya wanna bet this horse comes prancing into the Derby dressed in drag?

6. Midnight Interlude - Maybe there's a romantic reason this poor horse got such a cheesy, pretentious name, but I doubt it. By trying far too hard, its owners ended up giving their Thoroughbred a name that sounds like it was one of Beethoven's castoff symphonies ... or a novel Danielle Steel once burned it was so bad.

7. Pants on Fire - This is my favorite BY FAR. Clearly whoever named this horse has a brillz sense of humor! Does the name also mean the horse is a liar, liar? (Tee hee.)

Which Derby Horse will you be rooting for on Saturday?


Image via Lisa Andres/Flickr

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