What would happen if the UF Gators had to adhere to the same premarital sex rules as their opponent in tonight's fourth-round NCAA tournament game, BYU? Sure, it's totally hypothetical, and it's like comparing apples to oranges, but consider it for a moment, because I think it's definitely an entertaining "Sweet 16" question ...
So, UF would FAIL miserably. And Orlando Sentinel reporter Mike Bianchi was out to prove it recently when he confronted not just one, but three UF figureheads with the inquiry yesterday.
Chandler Parsons, Florida's Southeastern Conference Player of the Year (and quite the cutiepie), shook his head and laughed, and when Bianchi pressed him to give the percentage of UF players who have had premarital sex, he seemed to sort of evade the question by instead commenting on the brouhaha over dismissed BYU player Brandon Davies:
Rules are rules, and he knew what he was doing, and it's something we can't really worry about ... It's not really my business.
Then, Bianchi asked UF coach, Billy Donovan, how hard it would be to get players to sign with UF if they "had to tell five-star recruits that they couldn't have sex."
I'm not going to get into that. I'll pass on that one.
Finally, UF Athletic Director Jeremy Foley was asked how many players on his old lacrosse team at Hobart College in New York would have been eligible if premarital sex were prohibited, and Foley pleaded the fifth.
Yes, I get it that BYU is a totally different story, because they're a Mormon school, and those guys know what they're getting themselves into when they sign up. That's why no one was to blame for player Brandon Davies getting booted off the team for getting some but Davies himself.
Still, this amusing little investigative experiment of Bianchi's only serves to illustrate that a requirement calling for a "chaste and virtuous life" (part of the BYU honor code) really wouldn't exactly work out very well for most college basketball teams. Thankfully, there is a varied mix of secular and non-secular colleges and universities in this country, so that players can clearly choose whether or not they're interested in signing with a team that requires a chastity belt under their jock strap.
As for UF's rules somehow in any way, shape, or form resembling or ever attempting to resemble BYU's, this is all you need to know: As Bianchi pointed out his article, the Gators had a player named Matt Walsh only a few years back whose girlfriend was a Playboy Bunny. But over in Utah, BYU players aren't even allowed to read Playboy. Teehee.
So, in other words, what have we learned? Most college basketball players and men aged 18-21 are horny, have lots of off-court sex, date Playboy bunnies if they have the chance to, and no one cares. By comparison, college basketball players who go to BYU must exhibit A LOT of self-control. Hey, more power to them! (But I know which teams are probably having a lot more fun.)
Could you see UF or any other college basketball team faring very well under the same rules as BYU?
Image via J. Rosenfeld/Flickr