NCAA Tournament fans, we have a problem. It's called online, streaming, live video. And it's eating us alive.
It's "I can't eat my lunch because I don't want to miss a basket" addicting. It's "I can't concentrate on this report because I don't know the scores" addicting. It's turning simple phrases like "Hey, I'm running to the John" to "What, St. John's? What was the score? I need to look. Now!"
It's ruining the American workplace because it's there. Just ... out ... of ... our ... reach. Sports fans, I have a secret for you all. A secret that I guarantee will increase productivity and make the office a more pleasant place to be. Watch it anyway.
Yes, it's a little crazy. This is March Madness, after all. But there are two miracles at play here that make it possible:
1. My very favorite. It's called the "boss button." Integrated into the CBS/NCAA streaming video, it allows you to hit a button when the head honcho comes near that suddenly puts "work" up on your screen and drowns out the noise of screaming crowds. One need not be caught and fired simply because the Jayhawks were on fire, and you couldn't contain your fanship (although please, chanting Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk is not office-appropriate. Perhaps an iPod with the mantra on repeat will do the trick?).
2. Multi-tasking. After five years of parenting, I can tell you that I have never seen a game all the way through. In the early days, there were diapers to change. Now there are words to spell and juice to pour and homework to help with, and all I really want to do is watch the ball go through the hoop. And yet, the beautiful thing about sports is that you don't need to see every single minute to feel sated. You need the highlights, the lowlights, and the score. And sometimes even just the soothing noise of a game in the background is enough.
Come on, if I can drive home with the Yankees game on and not take the car off the road when Jeter strikes out, you can handle getting a little work done while listening to Duke lose (OK, OK, only dreaming there). And your bosses should be happy to have it all go down.
Because if there's one thing scientists have found, a happy worker is a productive worker. And a distracted, "what the hell is up with Gonzaga" thinking worker is making mistakes.
So turn on your computer, and let the games begin!
Do you sneak some NCAA Tournament time at work?
Image via CBS Sports