In case you haven't heard there's a little thing called March Madness starting in, oh, less than 36 hours. Hard core fans have been gearing up for weeks (dare I say months?), but it really starts tomorrow with Selection Sunday, when they announce which teams made it to the Big Dance.
You are going to have to deal with March Madness for about three weeks. Starting Sunday, your guy is going to be glued to the TV. Your husband will not want any sort of distractions. Which will be just, well, annoying.
Why should he be the only annoying one, I ask? Where is our annoying fun? Well, it's right here: we have 5 ways to really annoy your guy during Selection Sunday.
So, there's a whopping 71 hours of straight coverage afterwards, but the main program is at 6:00 p.m. over on CBS. That's your target time.
1. Plan a dinner at 6:00 p.m. Not just any dinner. Plan a dinner with your parents. If he hems and haws about going, pull the whole "Don't you like my parents?" card. Be sure to pick some restaurant without a bar attached so he can't keep excusing himself to go see what's going on.
2. If you are pregnant, do some online shopping for baby gear. Ask approximately every 8.9 minutes, "Hey honey, look at these cute Ze Super Zero dolls!" or " What kind of diaper bag will you want for the park?" Because you are carrying his child, he knows he should at least respond. This will drive him crazy.
3. Buy some sexy lingerie. Put it on at 6:13 p.m. Drape yourself on the couch (note: this could also be his biggest fantasy). If he is drawn to your female powers, tell him he has to turn off the TV to "proceed." Be prepared for him to pause for at least 3 minutes to make his final decision.
4. If you have kids, plan to be out of the house at that time. That means he's in charge. 6:00 is dinner, bath, getting ready for school. He'll be checking homework, scrubbing baby bums, battling the remote so they don't switch it to Wow! Wow! Wubzy!.
5. Buy yourself an iPad2 and walk in with it at 5:58 p.m. He will be tempted, he will be torn. To really annoy him, really push the boundaries, ask his help with setting it up. He will have to touch it. If he does, he may totally implode as his inner geek battles his inner jock.
Will your guy be watching Selection Sunday shows?
Image via The D34n/Flickr