Seattle Stinks at Sports, Makes It Official With New Title

Lindsay Mannering

seattleSeattle, Washington is known for tons of things -- great music, great coffee, great seafood, and great goatees. But when it comes to the athletic department, the city comes up a little short. Forbes has named Seattle the most miserable sports city in the nation.

The Seattle teams (NBA Sonics, who left the city in 2008, NFL Seahawks, and MLB Mariners) have combined for 37 playoff appearances in a total of 111 seasons. And how many championships? One. Back in 1979, the Sonics beat the Washington Bullets for the NBA title. Seattle is currently in a 32-year-long losing streak. No trophies, no parades, no trips to Disneyland.

But do you hear Seattle complaining? NoOoOoOo.

It must be because the whining coming from Boston and Chicago drowns them out. We can't hear Seattle's acoustic musings on their sad teams over the drunken hollers from the Red Sox fans in the corner and the Bears fans crushing beers in the parking lot.

Maybe Seattle doesn't even realize they stink at sports. Everyone's either too high on life, coffee, or sweet Seattle grass to even notice that they're a bunch of nonathletic losers. "Good try, man. Really good effort. Solid."

Or maybe it's the weather. Does anyone feel motivated to do anything, let alone play highly competitive professional sports, when it's 45 degrees and raining every day? No, you feel like reading in bed, petting a kitten, and looking wistfully out a window.

Or maybe what makes Seattle such a miserable sports city is that no one cares. If no one cares enough to whine, then it's likely no one cares enough to cheer. Boston and Chicago care deeply about their teams -- sometimes it seems it's the only thing they care about. Their sports misery and triumphs define their cities, families, culture. Seattle I'm sure has that passion about something (open-mic night? slow drip?), but it's not sports.

Feel like you live in a miserable sports town?

Photo via dherrera_96/Flickr

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