We were watching last night as the Scottish Deerhound known as Hickory took home the title Edinburgh at the Westminster Dog Show.
I saw the huge purple-and-gold ribbon and some sort of silver bowl handed to Hickory's handler. But there was no "One Shining Moment" montage, no "I'm going to Disney World" ad, no confetti raining down on Hickory.
So, what does the winning dog of the Westminster Dog Show win ... besides a few extra treats?
Not much. Really, after years of training and being primped and prodded every which way, Hickory doesn't get anything but bragging rights. She's famous and her puppies will go for a pretty penny due to her fame, but that's it.
I'm a little shocked by this. I've read she's going to retire and go live on a farm with her owners. Which is nice. But I think she deserves some championship treatment -- and some perks -- before she heads home.
Hickory got a little taste of it today -- rang the bell at the New York Stock Exchange, ate at the famous Sardi's, did the talk show circuit. But I think she deserves more:
A call from Bo (or his owner): Hickory beat the Portuguese water dog, but the First Dog is, I'm sure, non-partisan (can that be used in terms of breeds?). A call from the president, perhaps an invite to the White House, and a romp in the Rose Garden seem appropriate.
Endorsement deals: Yo, folks over at Purina! Hell-lo, makers of Snausages! Here's the top dog in the country. Why not use her? Slogan: If it's good enough for this top dog, it's good enough for yours!
A trip to Scotland: American Airlines should pony up for a trip for America's best dog to Scotland. Hickory can visit Edinburgh Castle, run around The Highlands, and get in touch with her ancestral home.
Trip to Disney: Super Bowl MVPs, World Series winners, they all get to go, why not Hickory? She can hang with Pluto, chat with Goofy, and ride Space Mountain a few times.
Unlimited chew toys: Really, what else could a dog want? I see her crashing on the couch, chewing on a plastic bone, and watching The View. Sounds like the life of a champion to me.
What do you think this champion doggie deserves?
Image via Getty