You know who's full of surprises? Curtis Jackson, aka rapper 50 Cent, that's who. For one thing, he's a surprisingly savvy life coach who gives advice like making a vision board with your partner in order to reveal what doesn't overlap ("The things that end up on your vision board that aren't in hers are the things that she has to accept. And the things that she has that you don't are the things that you have to make a compromise with"). He's written a number of books, including The 50th Law, "an entertaining analysis of the mechanics of individualistic power." He's also the worst ceremonial pitcher in the history of baseball.
Okay, maybe he's not the WORST, but the video evidence of 50 Cent's ceremonial first pitch at the New York Mets v Pittsburgh Pirates game on Tuesday night is nearly unbelievable in its hilarity. I mean, my 6-year-old can throw a better pitch than 50 Cent. A blindfolded, tranquilized, quadriplegic alpaca could throw a better pitch than 50 Cent.