POSTS WITH TAG: the pregnant life

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    Sometimes when you have a friend or family member who announces their pregnancy, you have to be all sappy and send them a heartfelt note of congratulations that makes flowery references to this special journey/miraculous time in their life. Then there are your awesome friends, to whom you can say things like, "Dude, congrats! Also, welcome to eight months of living in Fartville, Population: You."

    For your pregnant pals who don't mind a little sarcasm along with their heartburn, here are 10 congratulatory cards that are more what I'd call "real talk" than Hallmark. After all, pregnancy is an amazing gift ... one that's frankly best enjoyed if you can laugh at the less-than-perfect moments.

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    I'm at least semi-convinced that most of the autocorrect screenshots that are floating around the Internet are faked, but even this killjoy belief of mine doesn't stop me from laughing like a permanently-weakened-pelvic-floor loon whenever I see a good one. Autocorrect fails are kind of like Santa: the actual truth doesn't matter as much as the spirit of the thing, you know?

    That said, I'm pretty sure the following pregnancy-related typos are all real -- or at least they make me feel like Mulder, in that I want to believe. Whether you're currently pregnant, have ever been pregnant, or just like to laugh at other people's messaging misfires, please enjoy these 9 hilarious pregnancy texts gone wrong.

    More from The Stir25 Rude Things Moms Have Heard Upon Announcing They're Pregnant Again

     

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    Oh boy. Have you heard about the pregnant woman who was forced to sit on a train's floor because no one wanted to give up their seat during the busy London commute?

    Yep. It really happened. Victoria Poskitt is five months along, and while riding in one morning, there were no seats available in the main class, so she opted to plunk down on the floor of the car so she wouldn't have to stand. And understandably, she's upset -- and not just because she wasn't feeling well and figured someone should give up their seat. Apparently this particular train line offers special passes to pregnant women who are more than 20 weeks along, which allow them to sit in the first class car if there are seats available.

    Yes ... there were seats up front on the day Victoria was riding, but she still wound up on the floor. And it's because she only rides the train three days a week. To get the pass, you have to have a weekly, monthly, or annual pass. (There's always a catch.)

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    Mark and Britt Sherman are not only a super adorable couple, they're actually pretty inspirational as well. They've served as missionaries in Papua New Guinea and Tanzania, and plan to head back to east Africa as soon as possible. They're also prolific bloggers with amazing stories to tell over at Those Crazy Shermans.

    But they've had something else going on in their lives too -- a new baby! After spending years thinking they didn't want kids, they had a change of heart and captured Britt's pregnancy in the best time-lapse "growing belly" video I've ever seen.

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    A new study from the University of Copenhagen has revealed that pregnant moms-to-be who drink up to a bottle of wine a month (a small amount by any stretch) actually have better behaved, more relaxed children than those who abstain throughout. So, bottoms up (on our five sip glasses of wine), right?

    Well, not so fast.

    As a mom who is three weeks away from delivering her third baby, I have heard A LOT of advice when it comes to pregnancy. What it always comes down to for me is that I will take the advice that makes the most sense for the best possible outcome for my baby. In my case, that means no drinking. I can abstain nine months. I'll be OK. Of course, now I may live to regret that.

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    As a pregnant woman, I know my husband deals with a lot of my irrational nonsense. The other day I cried for no reason -- right as he was telling me Costco's vodka brand is similar to Grey Goose. I mean, totally batty, I know. But it's not all our fault -- really! There are certain things that, if your partner is clueless enough to do any of them while you're pregnant, might just lead you to want to take an old-fashioned frying pan to his head. 

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    Ah, pregnancy. A time in a woman's life when she glows, looks sexier than ever, and is showered with constant attention, adoration, and free foot rubs.

    Right. That's how you could describe your first pregnancy and you wouldn't be too far off. But if this is your second pregnancy, you need to prepare yourself because things are going to be a wee bit different. 

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    I am currently headed into the home stretch of my third pregnancy. With just a few weeks left to go, my mind is on folding newborn clothing, getting all my supplies for our planned home birth, and kick counts to make sure the baby is healthy. It's a good time.

    Physically, though, it's also a hard time. I am six years older than the last time I was pregnant, and my body feels that age in every way. I am achy and creaky and cranky and whiny, and my poor husband, supportive as he is, has to hear it all. Poor dude.

    He is a fantastic daddy to our two older children and is every bit as hands on involved as I am when it comes to bedtime, pickups/dropoffs, extracurriculars, and more. But no man, no matter how wonderful, can actually get what it's like to be pregnant. I know he tries, but I have talked to a number of women and compiled a list of things we all WISH our husbands had said to us while we were pregnant. See below:

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    So you gave up your delicious daily cup of coffee when you found out you were pregnant. Good for you! You won't go within eight feet of unpasteurized cheese or shellfish and you're even trying to swear off canned foods. You're doing everything right -- or else you think you are. And then you find out that tea -- even green tea -- which you assumed was not only safe, but beneficial for you and your baby, could actually be far more dangerous than your cup of Joe. Here's what you need to know. 

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    When I was pregnant with my second child, I had been blogging for a few years, mostly sharing the antics of our day-to-day family life and the hilarious things her then 4-year-old sister said.

    Always one to be tongue-in-cheek, I may have written something smart-assy about my gestating baby, thinking everyone would get the joke. Boy was I wrong!

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