Have you planned what kinds of portraits you'll take while you're pregnant -- or were you just going to kind of wing it with a series of random shots? I did the latter, and, well ... I kind of wish I'd given those photos just a leetle more thought. Like, maybe I should have run a brush through my hair before someone grabbed a camera.

Anyway, if it's not too late for you, here are 10 classic pregnancy poses. Do your hair, find some soft lighting, and just have fun with these!

Fact: Being a bridesmaid is a pain in the ass under the best of circumstances. Oh, yes it is. Spending hundreds of dollars on a dress you'll never wear again (no matter how many times the bride insists you'll wear it again), catering to the whims of a woman you're pretty sure was your friend at some point or another but that was before she morphed into BRIDEZILLA, throwing one of those obnoxious bachelorette parties where you throw penis-shaped confetti at your tiara-wearing Bridezilla while everyone else at the bar rolls their eyes in disgust ... yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

But as miserable as being a non-gestating bridesmaid can be, it's nothing compared to the epic torment of being a pregnant bridesmaid. (Trust me, I've been there.) Here are 5 reasons why:

One of the funniest things I remember from my first pregnancy is obsessively reading my weekly pregnancy reports and being shocked when they always said the same thing. My baby was the size of a poppy seed, then a lentil, then a pea, then a lemon.

Why all the food, people? It was actually a great way for me to really see what my baby looked like and kind of envision what was going on inside my belly. But I do remember one particularly stressful morning while grocery shopping, staring at the various lemons and wondering which one my baby was. Let's just say they ranged in size from small to frighteningly large.

So which lemon was it? Seriously, though. The fruits and vegetables. What's up with that? Here is a slide show of eight sizes of babies as told by fruits...  and veggies! See below:

Leave it to Kim Kardashian to show the rest of us how to wring every little opportunity out of a pregnancy. Today's lesson, ladies, is how to use your baby bump to get a little sympathy from a judge. She recently petitioned the judge handling her divorce from Kris Humphries to hustle it along quickly -- for the sake of the baby, of course.

I am requesting the status of my marriage be determined now for not only my health and welfare but also for the health and well-being of my unborn child. I firmly believe that an immediate dissolution of our marriage will help create a new, full life for me.

It's for the kids, judge! Meanwhile, Kim K. has been running around town, flaunting her baby bump in her typical clingy-dress fashion. And a naughty rumor has surfaced: Kim might be padding that baby bump for extra sympathy! Scandalous -- and probably untrue. But it should make expecting mamas think a little: Are there ways to game that baby bump to your advantage?

There's a new rumor that Khloe Kardashian is pregnant with Lamar Odom's baby and planning to do a pregnancy reality TV show with her sister Kim -- and I just don't know what to think. First of all, Khloe pregnant? I'd be so happy for her if it were true. Supposedly an insider from E! tipped off MediaTakeOut.com yesterday and claims the sisters will make 50 percent more on the preggers show than they do on Keeping Up. But ... I'm going to wait until we hear from the Kardashians themselves before I pull out my celebration tambourine.

Until then, let's talk about this idea of a televised pregnancy. Is that really such a good idea? Because pregnancy is just so ... awkward.

Memorialize all your pregnancy changes!As if we needed more confirmation, Jessica Simpson tweeted a photo of herself, full pregnancy boobs on display just after the photo of her daughter Maxwell with the words "Big Sis" written in the sand. In this case, though, the photo of Jessica showed just one boob. But what a boob it was. Pregnancy boobs are amazing. They are fuller, more perky, and grow right along with your belly. They start off being larger than the baby bump, then gradually the belly takes over, making even double Ds look small in comparison. But they are lovely and quite the novelty. Until they start to hurt and possibly even leak.

Showing off your pregnancy boobs is the new boasting your belly bump. Look at Jessica. Snooki did it. Pink did it, too. Charlotte Church missed hers when they were gone.

Megan Fox may look fantastic now just weeks after giving birth, but she most definitely didn't always feel that way while she was pregnant. In fact, she says she was flat-out miserable for awhile.

Last night on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, she told him just how sick she was when she saw him during her last appearance there in February when she was just a few months pregnant. Looking stunning in blue, she said her morning sickness was "really bad," and very descriptively explained to him just how bad.

A report I read this morning reinforced my biggest fear as to why my son may have been born prematurely. In a column titled, "Premature babies: The pregnant elephant in the room is stress," the writer makes a strong case linking the two. 

In it, writer Anna White argues that the stress of working and women who refuse to slow down while they're pregnant could contribute to premature births. "As career women, in our bid to have it all, all at once, are we endangering our unborn children by increasing the risk of pre-term birth?"

I don't doubt that could be part of the problem.