The other day I was putting a barrette in my daughter's hair when my son -- her twin 2 1/2-year-old brother -- handed me the pink one and said, "For me." I put it in his hair and he wore it most of the day, never fussing with it like his sister does who usually keeps it in for five minutes before ripping it off. Of course this made me think of the whole J.Crew pink toenails boy-gate last year and the questionable outrage over it. But then I remembered that we do live in a country where people of the same sex are banned from getting married in some states.

Then I heard about Sweden who recently came up with a new gender neutral word. The pronouns "he" and "she" (in Swedish "han" and "hon") are now known as "hen." Toy company Leklust is on-board with their latest catalog, too. The Swedes are considered a leader in gay rights and same sex marriages have been legal in the whole country since 2009.

Good for the Swedes! Why are the rest of us so uptight?

I was reading "15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy" and it made me think about parenthood -- being a mom. There are things we get caught up in and it messes with us -- with our sense of balance, our zen, and simply, our happy. The recent Time magazine cover story brought out the worst in us. The judgments. The misunderstandings. The ugly. It was almost like a new campaign perfectly designed to fuel the mommy wars. But it will only do that if we let it.

And that's exactly what that "give up" list made me realize. We can't let it. We can't let things get to us and divide us -- as moms, as parents, as a person. We all have these inner conflicts and struggles and they are often caused by things on the outside -- the judgements, the misunderstandings, the ugly. We need to make changes. We need and deserve to be happy -- happier. So here's my list of the 14 things you should stop doing to be a happy mom or dad.

My husband and I recently visited the Montessori school our little girl will be attending after she reaches her 6-month birthday. And even though the environment was lovely and peaceful and joyous, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering to those early "first day of school" moments in my life. The little kid anxiety associated with starting a new school, meeting new people, and hoping to make friends and fit in.

I don't know about you, but when I learned that Snooki of Jersey Shore was pregnant, I braced myself for what was to come. I just couldn't picture someone who was just the other day peeing on herself in clubs (and not washing her hands afterward) and stumbling around drunk most of her life actually being able to handle all the new limitations and changes pregnancy brings. So color me shocked as to how remarkably well she's actually embracing her new role as mama to be.

Need proof that pregnancy has changed her? Just look at her skin. She's has done the unimaginable and has actually ... given up tanning. I know, I know, I would have never believed it, but she tweeted an actual picture of her "non tan," and she's looking good. No more orange glow! But talk about a big sacrifice for her. I would have guessed she'd be baking until the end, but clearly she's erring on the side of caution when it comes to her little guido or guidette. Good for her.

It's just been four short months since Beyonce gave birth to little Blue Ivy but people are already asking her: Are you gonna have another? I mean, there she is at the Met Gala in some ka-razy Givenchy Haute Couture gown, all see-through black lace and purple feathers. And people are asking her that?

ANOTHER ONE? Girl just gave birth five minutes ago! Will you let her catch her breath?

That was probably my number-one least favorite thing people said when I first had a baby. Are you having another one? More? When are you popping out another? I know you just spent nine months pregnant and then 3,948,298 hours in labor, but you can't wait to do it all again, right?

Bathing suit season can be a mom's worst nightmare and this has nothing to do with if she is in shape or not. Let's just think about what the typical woman without kids does in a bikini ... or even a one piece bathing suit. Imagine the sun shining down, a slight breeze in your hair, the smell of coconuts, and laying perfectly still with the sand in your toes soaking in the relaxation. Maybe you are working on a tan or reading a book or sipping a frosty beverage ... whatever it is you are doing, it's blissful. Perhaps you wade into the ocean or the pool to cool off. You have your sunglasses or your wide brimmed hat. You look good.

Now add kids. Kids make us contort our bodies in ways we didn't know possible. And that's why bikini season is really hard on moms.

I almost couldn't bring myself to share yet another pregnancy progression video with you guys, because I know, I know—you've seen them all. Not only have they become nearly ubiquitous in the last couple years, they kind of make me feel bad. I watch them and think, Why didn't *I* create some sort of artful, clever video that perfectly captured my pregnancies? I just took a bunch of poorly-lit photos of my belly while standing around in an increasingly stretched-beyond-capacity pair of pink underwear!

(Sadly, this is totally true.)

However, if there's such a thing as the One Pregnancy-to-Birth Video to Rule Them All, this just might be it. It's gorgeous, unique, and instead of making me feel jealous I didn't do something similar, I just feel grateful that a mom decided to share these intimate glimpses into her life with the rest of us.

I promise, you don't want to miss this video.

There are few great surprises in life once you're an adult, but actually learning that you're pregnant for the first time is one of them. It's amazing enough to get the news yourself, but when you're ready to share it with friends and families, it's truly one of the most memorable times of your life. 

People come up with all sorts of creative ways to deliver the news, and the reactions are varied but (almost) always touching. Some are just a little more enthusiastic and tear-inducing than others. For example, the parents in this first video are so happy when they get the news from their daughter, you can't help but cheer for them.