POSTS WITH TAG: miscarriage & loss

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    When the baby you're expecting dies just a few days before he or she is due it's devastating for the parents. You mourn. You wonder how to go on with your life. And then -- there's something I'd never thought about before: There's all the beautiful baby gifts and gear that will never be used by the child who just died.

    A Dad told a story about the stuff left behind when his daughter died. His wife was staying a few days in the hospital, and he wanted to quickly clear their apartment of the baby gear. It would only make her heartbreak worse. There was the big, expensive stroller he had just bought at Babies 'R' Us. It was still in its box. He would have to return it. It symbolized so much to him.

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    Jenelle Evans' pregnancy is over. The Teen Mom hinted earlier this week that husband Courtland Rogers had taken off while she was suffering a possible miscarriage, and now it's happened.

    An unnamed friend confirmed to Radar that Jenelle lost the baby this morning while former fiance Gary Head -- who popped back up in Jenelle's life just this past week -- has been tweeting from her hospital bedside. It's the worst news to come out of what's been a record bad week for the Teen Mom 2 star. Her marriage is ending, and now she has to deal with the aftermath of losing a baby while the public watches.

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    As if a miscarriage isn't painful enough -- one mother's suffering multiplied when she wanted to have her lost fetus treated with respect. Shayna Spitzack was seven and a half weeks pregnant when she miscarried. Often, in a miscarriage this early in a pregnancy, the tiny fetus is lost in the flow of blood and tissue and ends up accidentally getting flushed down the toilet. But Shayna managed to save hers and wanted to have it cremated. She wrapped it carefully and put it in a box.

    Then she called a funeral home (whose director just happened to be married to her midwife). The director wanted to make sure he was following the law correctly, so he called the county coroner, Jeff Baldi. And that's when a sad, private loss turned into a CSI episode.

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    Tattoos used to be the mark of someone who was out of the mainstream and kind of hard-living ... but these days, tattoos are as common on sweet, gentle PTA moms as they once were on sailors and wild women. Lots of moms get tattoos to celebrate their children or mark milestones in an important personal journey.

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    There's nothing like the thrill of finding out you are pregnant, particularly when you are trying to conceive. It's this immediate rush of happiness flowing through your body. It's like you can feel that little bean taking up residence in your womb, the sense of a little soul within you. A creation. A baby. It's magical. Sometimes that baby's entire life flashes in your mind. Picking a name. The birth. Holding baby for the first time. Watching those first steps, the first smile, the first word. All of this happens even early in the pregnancy. Eight weeks. Ten weeks. Twelve weeks. No matter how many weeks, it's real. All is full of love. It's hope.

    Miscarriage. One of the most painful words. So hard to talk about. So hard to stay positive and hold out hope for another try. Because a miscarriage essentially destroys that hope.

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    I don't know how ready we are to hear this news, but here goes: Apparently doctors may be diagnosing miscarriages too early. As in, you call with symptoms and someone says, "Yup, it's a miscarriage, come on in and we'll expedite things for you." And they're wrong. The Daily Mail says up to 400 women in the UK may have lost their perfectly healthy babies (zygotes?) through mistaken diagnosis. And supposedly this is all because of super-sensitive home pregnancy tests.

    Okay, I don't want to go into the what-ifs because there's nothing we can do about them. And because that's just a terrifying, heartbreaking prospect for too many women. Let's look forward -- how do you avoid getting mistakenly diagnosed with a miscarriage?

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  • Making Sense of Miscarriage

    posted by Joanna Montgomery November 7, 2012 at 10:28 AM in Pregnancy
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    Now that my husband and I are parents, we can't imagine life without our little girl. It seems like this -- her being our daughter; us being her parents -- was always meant to be. And we simply adjusted our lives to fit this expansion of our family.

    But this scenario didn't always seem so natural to us.

    When my husband and I were pretty new in our relationship, I got pregnant. While on birth control pills. Yep, I was one of the 0.1 percent who got pregnant on the pill. And I freaked OUT. 

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    The following was written minutes after I was told that I had lost my third pregnancy. I was on the way to pick up my youngest child from preschool and I had to regain my composure before I got there. I was hyperventilating and crying so hard that I thought I would die. My world was crashing down around me. My husband was an hour-and-a-half away in another state and I was completely alone. The only way I could survive the initial devastation was to write down my feelings in the notes section of my iPhone -- and cry harder and more animalistically than I had ever done before.

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    I had a scare during my first pregnancy that involved a startling amount of bleeding, a rushed trip to the hospital, and a couple of hours hooked to a fetal monitor. As it turned out, everything was perfectly fine -- but I'll never forget the heart-dropping feeling that everything we'd been hoping for was about to come crashing down around us.

    Imagine if I'd been able to take a single test, right then, that would have determined my progesterone levels and informed me whether or not I was headed for a miscarriage? That's the possibility raised in a new study published today. For women experiencing cramping and bleeding, a progesterone test may be able to help distinguish between a viable and nonviable pregnancy.

    It all sounds very interesting ... but I can't help thinking about the utterly devastating possibility of false results.

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    Having to go through the pain of a miscarriage is nothing short of devastating, especially when it happens not once, but multiple times. It can be so tough to hold on to the hope of becoming pregnant after such a terrible loss -- which is something Amy Newton knows all too well.

    After suffering five miscarriages in one year, Amy became pregnant for a sixth time -- but her joy was short-lived because just nine weeks after finding out she was expecting, she was diagnosed with cervical cancer. And you can only imagine her heartbreak when her doctors suggested she terminate her pregnancy in order to have chemotherapy treatment.

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