POSTS WITH TAG: miscarriage & loss

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    March 1, 2011

    I often talk to Benjamin. Out loud. When I think no one is watching.

    I talk to him from a place of abundance and joy with my neck craned back, my eyes dazzled by the millions of stars floating over the darkened ocean. I talk to him from a place of peace as I gaze out at waves and sunshine and laughter. I talk to him from a place of fear, when my body is tight, my heart pounding, my trust momentarily shot.

    I tell him I love him. I ask him to watch over his big sister. And because I believe that wherever he is, his vision is greater than mine, I ask him to help me remember to put one foot in front of the other and trust that the ground will be there.

    At times it’s reassuring to have an angel for a son.

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    Pregnancy can make you feel fragile. A lot of women worry that any little thing you do wrong could cause a miscarriage. And if you do happen to suffer a miscarriage, it's hard not to wonder what you could have done differently. If you're pregnant, you should definitely avoid the obvious: Substance abuse, activities that put you at a high risk for physical trauma, and failing to treat illnesses. But the truth is, miscarriage most often happens because of something that's completely out of your control. Here are the most frequent causes for a miscarriage.

    For clarity, a miscarriage happens in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, most often between weeks 7 and 12.

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    Is it safe to get vaccinated for the flu while you're pregnant? I'm starting to wonder the opposite -- is it safe not to get vaccinated while pregnant? A pregnant woman caught the flu and miscarried, and now she's fighting for her life. Leslie Creekmore was almost 20 weeks along when she and her husband, Chris, came down with the flu. She was hospitalized right away, but her condition worsened and she lost the baby within days. Her right lung collapsed this past weekend. Leslie chose to postpone getting a flu shot for the same reason countless other women have: She read that the shot could be harmful during the first trimester of pregnancy.

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    It's bad enough to miscarry one child, but imagine miscarrying 10 babies -- all in one night. A woman in India has apparently set some kind of tragic record by miscarrying 10 babies in one night. The woman, a 28-year-old who had conceived 10 babies after in vitro fertilization, lost them all at 12 weeks. And the sad thing is that some of the babies probably could have been saved.

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    I have two sisters, but I almost had three. When I was about 8 years old, the baby my mother was carrying mysteriously died when she was about five months along. I remember how emotionally devastating this was for my mom. No matter how many children you have, the acute pain parents feel after a stillbirth is undeniable. And strangely, the cause of many stillbirths often remains a mystery.

    Here's what we do know: One in 160 pregnancies will end in a stillbirth, according to the March of Dimes. That's 25,000 pregnancies a year. Stillbirth happens 10 times more frequently than SIDS. Doctors may not know the cause of every stillbirth, but there are a few common causes. And we're learning more about how to prevent stillbirth.

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    Imagine being pregnant and going to the hospital when your water breaks -- at only 18 weeks along. The hospital sends you home, but you return twice because you're in "excruciating pain." Finally, you miscarry your baby. No one ever told you that your baby had no chance of surviving or that your life was in danger. No one ever offered you any options. That's reportedly what happened to a Michigan woman who is now suing U.S. Catholic bishops over the Catholic-run hospital's treatment of her.

    Tamesha Means says, "They never offered me any options. They didn't tell me what was happening." Mercy Health Partners has strict religious directives that forbid it from performing abortions -- and apparently the staff is reluctant to even suggest that it could be an option elsewhere. So it makes me wonder, how much do we really know about our hospitals? There may be some questions you should get answered before you assume you'll get proper medical care.

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    When police officers showed up at a New York City Victoria's Secret store Thursday afternoon, they thought they were going to deal with two teenage girls shoplifting. What they got, though, was something much, much more horrifying. Instead of lingerie in the shopping bag of Tina Rodriguez, it was a fetus. Yes, a dead baby was found inside the shopper's bag, which security personnel were tipped off to by the strong odor. Rodriguez told police she had a miscarriage on Wednesday and "didn't know what to do with it."

    Let me get this straight. The teenager, whose friends and family had no clue she was pregnant, had a miscarriage at her friend's home -- or so that's what police currently believe. Then, instead of going to the hospital, she headed into Manhattan where she continued to shoplift with her girlfriend, tossing the stolen items on top of the baby in a black plastic bag and other clothing.

    This ... this is horrifying. The kicker? She's already a mother to one young son.

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    We know that BPA is bad for pregnant women -- it could lead to behavioral problems in children, it could cause cancer, diabetes, heart problems, and even infertility. The longer you've been exposed to BPA, the harder it could be to get pregnant. Bisphenol A is a toxin that seeps into our system and disrupts our hormones. It shouldn't be anything any of us are around. But it's all around us. And our unborn babies and newborns are naturally most at risk because they are most vulnerable to this toxin due to their size and age.

    But the connection between BPA exposure and miscarriage has never been fully discussed until now. And it's alarming.

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    Dancing With the Stars Season 17 cast member Jack Osbourne and his wife have lost their baby boy -- and words can't express how saddened we all are for them. The news broke yesterday that Lisa Stelly suffered a devastating late term miscarriage last week. She was in the second trimester of her pregnancy.

    Lisa posted the announcement on her blog, -- and the level of grief both she and Jack are feeling is evident in her words, as you can only imagine.

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    MTV's show 16 & Pregnant is known for showing the many difficulties that come with young motherhood, but the subject of pregnancy loss and difficulties that any mother can experience aren't generally discussed. Tragically, Nikkole Paulun, one of the stars of an earlier show whose older son is now 3, DID have a stillbirth with her second son. She is now opening up to and talking about it.

    Paulun was due with her second son in late August, but back in late July, things didn't feel right. She went in for an ultrasound and was told that her baby, whom she had already named Ashton, had died in the womb.

    It's hard to imagine a more devastating thing. Once you make it past the 12-week mark, typically as a pregnant woman, you feel "safe." As we all know, there is no time when the risk is zero. But still. The odds are in your favor, which makes this all the more painful.

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