Pregnancy. It's the most joyful time in a woman's life ... or is it?

While growing a new life inside of you is easily one of the most miraculous things a woman can experience, there are an awful lot of weird things that go along with it.

These are the kind of things I've never seen in any of my pregnancy handbooks, but through word-of-blog, I learned that I was not the only one.

So here you have it: five of the most horrifying pregnancy symptoms you'll never hear about.

Warning: This story will make you sick to your stomach in more ways than one. Even if they're kind of gross, bizarre pregnancy cravings usually aren't dangerous. Not so for British mom-to-be Emma Veness, who's so obsessed with eating furniture polish -- yup, the kind you spray on the coffee table -- that she eats up to three cans of the highly toxic stuff every day. In fact, she's been scarfing polish for almost the entire seven months of her pregnancy so far, and though she knows she could be hurting her unborn baby, she can't stop herself.

Okay, so here's an idea: Somebody else stop her! Hello?!?

Last week a woman in Texas gave birth to a baby the size of an average 6-month-old. On Friday Janet Johnson delivered a bouncing baby boy, who weighed in at 16 pounds, 1 ounce. That's double the size of an average newborn baby. Oh, and get this, he was delivered a week early.

They knew it was going to be a big baby (they thought 12 to 13 pounds), but they weren't prepared for just how big little JaMichael Brown would be. His father, Michael Brown, says they're calling him "Moose." Cute, but ... not really.

My first thought was ouch!, though mercifully in this case the baby was delivered via c-section. But beyond that the whole thing is just heartbreaking. While I'm sure they're basking in their record-breaking glory now, they're missing out on an entire chapter of this boy's life -- and one of the most beautiful ones there is.

It would nice if pregnancy was one long, idyllic, peaceful time of preparation to grow our babies and bask in the beauty of the experience. And part of it is for most, but it's also wrought with STRESS. Some of us worry more than others, but I'm confident there's not a pregnant woman who has ever walked waddled this earth that has remained worry-free for her entire pregnancy.

It's likely biological as the body prepares for all the worries the years of motherhood bring when children start walking and talking, and falling and breaking bones, and ....

Of course, much of it is out of our control, and we know worry won't solve anything, but it doesn't make it any easier to stop. The most comforting thing, however, is to know that you're not alone in your worry. So in light of that, here are 25 of the things most pregnant women worry about regarding the arrival of their new baby:

Pregnancy is a wonderful, amazing, crazy experience that unites women like no other. Still, it's one that is vastly different for every woman who carries a child.

For some women, pregnancy is a glowing, blissful breeze, while others spend months attached to a toilet with morning sickness. Some are determined to have all-natural births in their own homes, while others prefer a bring-on-the-epidural one in a state-of-the-art hospital. Yet all of us basically want the same things -- some attainable, others just idyllic wishes -- when it comes to bringing our babies into the world. Here are 21 things all pregnant women want:

I don't really care that Cameron Diaz is supposedly signing on to star in a movie version of What to Expect When You're Expecting, the dry-as-dirt, doomsday pregnancy manual that completely tramautized me and about a billion other women when we were expecting (expecting the worst, most apocalyptically horrific childbirth ever, that is, thanks to that cursed book).

I do care that they're making a movie about it, though, especially as it's apparently going to be a comedy. Yay! At last, we as a society can laugh off the panic-inducing power of the book that sent me to my OB in hysterical tears on more than one occasion ("But I have this tiny pain on my right side and the book said that could indicate I'm carrying conjoined twins!!").

Pregnant ladies, please do what what most people do in this kind of situation: Skip the book, see the movie instead.

Take a minute if you will and click over to PopEater to see the new nearly naked pregnancy portraits of Kim Zolciak from The Real Housewives of Atlanta and her finance Kroy Biermann that appear in Life & Style Magazine. Then come back, and let's discuss.

Are you reeling? I have seen plenty of awkward pregnancy pictures, but Zolciak's might just be the worst of the bunch ever. They are so bizarre, I can't stop looking at them. At first I thought they were perhaps a joke, but apparently they're not an intentional one. The look on her face; the position of his head that looks like he's about to dive into her crotch; it's all just so AWFUL.

Also, these are for a professional magazine, so she had resources and supposed professionals at her disposal to avoid making her pictures look like some of the others floating about. Instead, they just look worse.

I totally blame Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon for these and for the many more that are to come.

It's the story of a pregnant woman who did all the right things for her baby. She followed doctors' orders. She went on bed rest for more than a month, first at home and then in a hospital bed. But Matt Logelin's new book, Two Kisses for Maddy, wouldn't exist if it weren't for the way Liz Logelin's body betrayed her. She gave up everything for their baby girl, even her life.

Liz Logelin died 27 hours after she gave birth. And it wasn't in a rural hospital in a third world country. She wasn't an older mom, well past her childbearing years and pushing the limits of science. She was 30, in a respected California hospital. But just over a month of bed rest -- a common medical practice in American pregnancies -- claimed her life.