By the 9th month of pregnancy most women are over the "I'm pregnant!" bliss phase and are trying everything they can to just get that baby out of there. They jump up and down, have sex, stuff themselves with pineapple, force some cod liver oil down -- anything they can to start labor.
But once labor actually starts, many of us start wishing we could keep the baby in. Whether it's out of fear or pain, delerium or ecstasy, sometimes the craziest things come out of our mouths as our precious baby enters into the world.
Here are some of the funniest things women have admitted to saying during labor and delivery ...
Image via jonnyhunter/Flickr
'Teen Mom' Style Evolution
Nip Slips That Made Us Gasp
Celebrities Get a 'Regular...
Celebrities With Smallish...
This Hot Dad Wants to Do Your Ironing
This Hot Dad Wants to Cook You Dinner
This Hot Dad Cooks AND Does the Dishes
Kanye West is Gay?! 
Comments 152
I had back labor with both but with my second I got to deliver her naturally (had first via cesarean). When I hit transition, the pressure went from being on my back to being on my rectum. So I start yelling, "I have to poop!" What was bad was that I couldn't! I would try to go to the bathroom but it was like having the worst constipation ever. lol I was moving all over the place because the sensation drove me nuts. Wasn't long after that though that it was time for me to push. I was squatting at the time and I'm like, "Okay, I'll push her out here!" And the nurses start freaking out and telling me I need to get on the bed. So I do that but on hands and knees. OB comes rushing in and getting ready and I'm not in the position he wants me in so he makes me get off the bed, go around to the side, get back up on the bed, and get into position and in the meantime, the baby is making her way down without me doing anything! He finally says "Push!" and I just go with all my might stopping briefly when I hit that ring of fire. Baby was out in less than two pushes. lol
My boyfriends mother her first child was 15 pounds delivered vaginally she was telling me horror stories about it. She has all boys and the father is built like a brick shit house as is all the boys and she said her husband was trying to comfort her and she screams at the top of her lungs. "You're not pushing a 20 pound watermelon out of your dick!"
Personally after the first being 15 pounds I'd have stopped. Then again if she had I wouldn't have my bf so I'm glad she didn't!
I went straight to last stage labor and was having triple contractions with a 2 minute break. I have NO tolerance for pain and my husband was hyper-ventilating when we got there. A nurse met us outside with a wheel chair and I hated her on the spot - she was tall, thin and blonde and had a helium voice...
OH LOOK! We're having a baby, isn't this wonderful? Aren't you excited? Just think by this time tomorrow you'll be holding your beautiful baby and isn't it just the most amazing thing in the world...
She went on and on and on like a bad case of diarrhea. Either way after running on, she asks me... and what's YOUR name?
My reply?
Eppie. Dural.
Bellygirl,the next time your husband plans on spending a lot of time in the sun you should ask him if he would like an epidural first.You could get a lot of mileage out of that one and maybe some "guilt gifts" instead of "push presents"
I was silent with both of my births, not for any reason, it just happened that way. I didn't feel any pain with either of them and I was so tired that words couldn't come out. I never really thought about it until I read the Jessica Alba thing. lol I am naturally a quiet person so maybe that had something to do with it.
During the pushing the nurses and my husband was counting the 1 2 3 4 5 ya'll know the drill but the whole time my husband was screaming the numbers and I do mean screaming....now mind you I was quite so he was not yelling over me. I finally stopped pushing and told him..."I am not going deaf, I am having a baby" lol.