Why Can't I Get Pregnant?

on November 18, 2009 at 7:00 AM

Before I got pregnant, I had asked myself that very question hundreds of times. Along with "What's wrong with me?," "Am I not meant to have kids?," "Did I do something to make this not happen?"

It also didn't help that some people who knew I was trying to conceive had some things to say that were hurtful. I'm sure they didn't mean it but when you hear something like, well, you spent a lot of time having fun and going out a lot so maybe that's why it's not happening for you, it can make you want to scream.

Here's the thing...it's not like I was some big party person -- I'm actually kind of a square when it comes to that...I barely drink. But even if I did, that doesn't often mean anything in the scheme of things when it comes to getting pregnant. I know a woman who has been on every drug imaginable and has gotten pregnant...oh, maybe seven times.

But when you are the person TTC, it can be hard, it can be depressing, and it can be lonely even if you have the most loving partner in the world. But we have to stop thinking the worst. Or at least, we have to try to have positive thoughts.

There are so many success stories of women who were TTC and who now have a baby. Some ways they let go of that "what's wrong with me" mentality and made it happen were:

They stopped trying to have a baby and it just happened. Stress can prevent you from getting pregnant, so this makes sense.
They saw a fertility specialist.
They amended their diet, got to a healthy weight, and were able to conceive.
They adopted.
They charted their cycles and ovulation times.

What are some of the things you have done to increase your chances of having a baby?

Trying to Conceive: One Woman's Journey

What's Wrong With Me?

Trying to Conceive & Infertility

TTC: How Much Sex Should You Have?

About the author Michele Zipp

loves vintage and will defend skinny jeans to the death though she is highly superstitious and "death" is probably a bad word choice. She has a touch of the hoarding disease and enjoys sleuthing, the worst reality shows, and wearing high heels, even at the playground. She's an AP mom of twins, slightly crunchy but with a pedicure.

Filed Under: trying to conceive

Comments (5)

Freela

on Nov 18, 2009 at 8:24 AM

I had a hard time getting pg with some of my kids. I basically did not bounce back after being on the pill. I ended up not having a period or ovulating for almost a year, then did three clomid cycles and finally conceived a year or so after we started ttc. Very exciting, until I lost the baby at the end of the first tri. After that I did start cycling again but very erratically... at that time we used ovulation predictor kits to pinpoint when I was likely to be fertile and we ended up having our son. When we started ttc again, I realized that I really did not know what was going on with my body. At a friend's recommendation I bought the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and it was the best move I could have made... worth it's weight in gold! From the info in that book I learned to pinpoint when I was fertile, realized that I was not ovulating when I thought I had been and the reason why I was not getting pg after months and months of ttc was because of a luteal phase defect. I was able to get that info to my doctor and get the problem treated- actually got pg with dd 1 the first cycle I took progesterone post-ovulation to deal with the luteal phase defect. So my best advice: know your body, learn about your body... it's the best investment you can make while ttc!

Report this comment

toriandgrace

on Nov 18, 2009 at 10:36 AM

What bothers me the most is "stop trying and you'll get pregnant" I hear this constantly. I'm sorry, but I do not ovulate without Clomid.. so I can stop trying for a year and have as much fun as I can fit into a day and there will still be no baby... It's just annoying to hear over and over, as if I'm not enjoying myself...

My daughter was a high school graduation surprise. Now my hubby and I have been trying for 15 months. We're currently on a break while he's deployed. When he gets back we have to decide whether to go back on clomid and risk me having a baby while I'm student teaching, or wait and risk me having a baby right before I want to get hired on full time. I think we'll just go for it when he gets back!

Pollymom

on Nov 22, 2009 at 4:22 AM

I have a dear friend who wanted babies as soon as she was married. She was married over a decade with no success getting pregnant and so she and her hubby finally decided to adopt three kids. (Siblings they didn't want to separate - who they love like crazy)

I'm happy to say that my friend got pregnant and had her baby boy a week ago. I was so happy when she called and told me out of the blue that she was pregnant, I almost cried. She didn't even know she was pregnant until she got so sick she had to go to the ER and they told her there. She was in shock.

I don't know why it suddenly happened....and why did it take so long? But I do know that baby is a miracle and he's gonna be spoiled rotten!

elwalters77

on Mar 10, 2010 at 12:46 PM

I took Clomid. I wasn't ovulating without it. Now, my baby is about to turn 1 year old!

SufferingRM

on May 8, 2010 at 7:19 PM

took fertileaid which you can buy off of http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ they come SUPER quick and have free shipping. They are a bit expensive but they worked the second cycle for me(ended in a MC though). I took them with calcium suppliments PLUS magnesium so the calcium could be obsorbed. I also took folic acid everyday and evening primose oil to up my cervical mucus. The best part though was this book

http://8ac8c7ogxi08-ie-noth5u4wbb.hop.clickbank.net/

It works great, my friend loved it. She said it got her in the right mind set to get her body WANTING to ovulate.

GL!

(PS. after the advice my friend gave me from the book and those herbs i ovulate every cycle. Last time we were TTC i even had TWINS! One was ectopic sadly and ended up in surgery and lost my right tube..)

GL and baby dust to you!