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Too Young to Have a Baby?

by Michele Zipp on November 25, 2009 at 7:00 AM

I'm going to turn the tables here -- let's start a little discussion on age and pregnancy, but not the age you expect.

I'm considered an old mom. I don't feel old, nor do I think I am old, but there are people who believe that I am too old to have kids. I'm 37. Expecting twins. First babies. Any day now.

I've read how some think I'll be more like a grandmother to my kids and won't be able to keep up with them and to this I say that's ridiculous. They will have their grandmas and I will be mom in high heels running around after them in the park.

But enough talk about older moms, what about young moms? How young is too young to be a mother?

Before we get into it, let me say this, and I've said it before -- what you think is right for you is one thing, but there are some who make blanket statements like No one over 30 should have babies. If that person said, I personally don't want to have babies past the age of 30 that is a whole different thing.

With some girls getting their period early, and having sex young, the possibility of getting pregnant is very real. Is 12 years old too young to become a mom?

For me, personally, I would think I would have been the worst mom ever at 12. At 16. At even 21. But then again, I don't know. I was never put in that position. And I know women who were and turned out to be amazing moms who raised incredible kids.

On this post about how young is too young to make a decision about a pregnancy, one mom had a great response if your daughter got pregnant at a young age. She said we can't make the decision for them, but we can guide them to make the right choice.

Do you believe there should be a set age for when a woman gets pregnant or do you believe it's up to the woman? Is there such a thing as too young or does it depend?

 

Related posts:

The Best Age to Have a Baby

How Young Is Too Young To Have a Baby?

What Age Do You Consider Too Young to Have a Baby?

Filed Under: motherhood, the pregnant life

Comments

40
  • cantw...
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    cantwaitfor4

    November 25, 2009 at 8:53 AM

    I feel there shouldnt be a set age for motherhood but I do believe maturity plays a big part. I am currently 14 weeks pregnant and by my 21st birthday we will have a 7 month old baby...does that make me too young to be a mother...? My s.o. and I have been together just over 2 years and defiantly made sure we were positive we wanted to have a baby before we even tried making one. Alot of girls I went to high school with, as well as younger ones, are also pregnant at the same time as me and in my eyes i dont believe its their best decision but alot of times having a baby, unplanned in a sense makes you either mature faster or makes you want to run away from problems you dont wanna deal with. I dont feel there should be a set age although i do feel it should be a decision made by two ppl that are in a committed relationship


  • kylis...
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    kylismomma

    November 25, 2009 at 9:23 AM

    I became a mom at 17. I am now 19, and 30 weeks pregnant with our second child and happily married to my husband and the father of both of my children. I did not TRY to become a young mom, i never thought i would have children so young. However I am a good mother and my age has nothing to do with that. When i'm 37 my children will be 20 and 18...that's crazy!  I am now in my second year of college full time and I will graduate when my children are 4 and 2. =


  • mupt02
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    mupt02

    November 25, 2009 at 10:04 AM

    I do think 12 and 14 is too young to become a mom.  At that age, you are still figuring out who you are.  However, being a young mom, does not make you a bad mom.  I know some young moms that are great moms.  I don't think there should be a set age because everyone matures differently.  There are some 30 somethings that I don't think have the maturity to be good parents yet while some 17 year olds do great. 


  • aj_ba...
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    aj_baby_06

    November 25, 2009 at 12:18 PM

    I think that a woman should at least be out of high school.


  • Punky...
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    Punkylu78

    November 25, 2009 at 12:22 PM

    I am going to tell my kids I think they should wait till they are 30! I was 28 with my first and 30 with my second and would love to have one more so I would be like 33 or 34 with that one. I just think you really don't even know yourself at a young age and there is so much life to live and things to experience that will be a lot harder to do when you have a baby. One of my best friends had her first baby at 14! I know it was really hard on her! I really couldn't wait to have a baby and experience being pregnant but I know if I would have had a baby any sooner then I did, I would have made it work but I am sure it would have been a lot harder. I think it is a personal choice but I myself think under 25 is to young, that's just me though.


  • MoM.i.aM
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    MoM.i.aM

    November 25, 2009 at 1:53 PM
    I think that at 12 the person is too young to be a mother. But what I think doesn change reality. I am pro life and the baby can't help that it was concieved by a child. So it should be put up for adoption. I also believe if a 12 year old is taught about safe sex and how babies come to be and still choose to have sex, then they are making a adult decision and know the consequences to their actions. Therefore, they are adult enough to have the baby and decided if they should keep it or give it up. An innocent life should not have to ended because of someones mistake.
  • Cynthia
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Cynthia

    November 25, 2009 at 3:16 PM
    My personal opinion is that 12 is probably too young to be a mother. You can certianly have a baby at 12, but there's more growing up to be done before taking on the responsibility of another person. It's different in differnt countries and cultures and people in some cultures have done a lot of growing up by 14 or 16, so who are we to say they aren't old enough to raise their children. I also don't agree with people who say that you shouldn't have kids until you're over 30 because you "don't know who you are yet" Everyone is different hand has different life experiences that make up who they are at any given time. I know some 16 year olds that are far more mature than some 40 year olds I know. No matter who you are, I think you should do what feels best for you in your heart and mind. Be the best parent you can be to your child at whatever age you are. We all continue to grow and cahnge until the day we die, so does that mean we shouldn't have kids until we're into our 60's so we can be sure we're "old enough" or "mature enough?"
  • Freela
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    Freela

    November 25, 2009 at 3:31 PM

    Unless we want to start controlling pregnancy and reproduction, some people are going to have babies young.  Rather than deciding what age makes a good mom, we should support mothers being good mothers at whatever age they are.  Some women are good moms in their teens, some women are lousy moms in their forties.  It is more about maturity and willingness to give of yourself, willingness to put someone else ahead of yourself.  Some people can do that well in their teens, some people haven't figured it out by the time they are 80.

    I personally got engaged at 18, got married at 20, and had my first child at 24 (after about 18 months of ttc, so I could have been a good year or more younger had things gone more smoothly for us.)  We had our three babies by the time I was 29.  Now at 32 I'm happy to be done having kids and focussing on the fun things we can do as the kids grow up.  Is it right for everyone?  Maybe not... we're all different.  But it WAS right for me.


  • sandr...
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    sandraberke

    November 25, 2009 at 3:37 PM

    i had my first child right after i turned 19. meaning i was 18 when i got pregnant. was i ready no. did it change me yes.and for the better. now im 22 and pregnant with my third. am i still considered a young mom yes. but i like it this way. ill still be young enouph and full of life and energy to chase after my kids.however..thats not to say i dont think about what if i had waited untill now to have my first. . .

    with that said i think that 12-17 at the max is way to young to have a baby. your not even really able to take care of yourself let alone someone else and the grandparents end up raiseing the kid. your still finding yourself and who you are. 


  • Monke...
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    MonkeysMama629

    November 25, 2009 at 3:47 PM

    I think its up to the pearson. No one should be able to tell you when you can get pregnant. I defiantly thing that having kids before you at least finish high school is was to young. I had my first a week before my 20th bday. My pregnancy came as a surprise but I was ready, Well I made my self to be ready. I think that couples should just be more careful. But you can be young and prepared and responsible. Everybody is different. If they know they cant handle a child than just make sure you dont get pregnant. I am now 22 and trying to have a my second child with my husband. People are telling I am way to young to try for a second one but I say its not any of their business and we are prepared. We know what we are doing. I also dont think you can be to old to have a child ether. I say you are as old as you feel. Kids make you feel young. My aunt had her daughter at 48 and she was like a 20 year old with her she still is. I do think that until you can supporte and be prepared to have a child on your own than you shouldn't have kids but if it does happen it forces you to grow up and be an adult. If a girl is still relying on her won parents to live than she is too young to have kids of her own. I was really young but my husband and I were able to support our child. I dont think age is important.  I love being a young mom!


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