Too Young to Have a Baby?

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I'm going to turn the tables here -- let's start a little discussion on age and pregnancy, but not the age you expect.

I'm considered an old mom. I don't feel old, nor do I think I am old, but there are people who believe that I am too old to have kids. I'm 37. Expecting twins. First babies. Any day now.

I've read how some think I'll be more like a grandmother to my kids and won't be able to keep up with them and to this I say that's ridiculous. They will have their grandmas and I will be mom in high heels running around after them in the park.

But enough talk about older moms, what about young moms? How young is too young to be a mother?

Before we get into it, let me say this, and I've said it before -- what you think is right for you is one thing, but there are some who make blanket statements like No one over 30 should have babies. If that person said, I personally don't want to have babies past the age of 30 that is a whole different thing.

With some girls getting their period early, and having sex young, the possibility of getting pregnant is very real. Is 12 years old too young to become a mom?

For me, personally, I would think I would have been the worst mom ever at 12. At 16. At even 21. But then again, I don't know. I was never put in that position. And I know women who were and turned out to be amazing moms who raised incredible kids.

On this post about how young is too young to make a decision about a pregnancy, one mom had a great response if your daughter got pregnant at a young age. She said we can't make the decision for them, but we can guide them to make the right choice.

Do you believe there should be a set age for when a woman gets pregnant or do you believe it's up to the woman? Is there such a thing as too young or does it depend?

 

Related posts:

The Best Age to Have a Baby

How Young Is Too Young To Have a Baby?

What Age Do You Consider Too Young to Have a Baby?

motherhood, the pregnant life

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Geeky... Geekywitch

I don't necessarily believe that young or old moms are bad moms.  I met a girl who had a baby at 12, and had to make the adult decision about her options.  Ultimatly she chose to keep the baby... Who was conceived against her will.  So obviously his dad was in jail, and she was a 12 year old single mom.  She finished school and is going to college, she's now 21 with baby #2 on the way, and Jason is a very well adjusted child.  She did amazing.


Whereas I know "women" in their mid and late 20's who are terrible mothers.


I believe that if you have the choice you should wait until after school.  And if college is part of your lifes plans, waiting until after college would be wise too unless you have a plan to make it through college with a child.  But if you have a choice, definatly wait until after  highschool.


As for how old one should be.. I believe that if a woman doesn't feel ready then it's not really time.. but she should consider trying before 30 (Like start trying around 25), this way if there's  an unexpected infertility issue you still have the time you need to TTC.  Infertility can take YEARS to overcome.. and it would suck to run out of time.

irish... irishangel710

I think it varies from person to person but you should be old enough to be able to care for the child. I'm 23 and I have 2 kids. I personally wouldn't want to have kids over the age of 30 but that's me. I agree you should at least be a high school graduate.

jacki... jackie_kay1983

I agree that 12 is too young, because they are really still children themselves. I was a very young mother, I got pregnant at 15 so I also feel that if you make the choice to participate in adult behavior, then you will have to deal with the adult consequences. I love all of my children and I have never regretted getting pregnant, I just wish that I could have postponed her for a few years. I feel that way mainly because a) I missed out on so many things that teenagers without babies get to do, such as the prom. And B) at that age you really don't have the life skills and mostly the patience to deal with another person that is totally dependant on you to survive. I am thankful that I had help from both of our parents, but it was still rough when it was totally on me. It was definitely on of the scariest things that I have experienced in my life!

nily nily

I had my DD when I was 16 years old and although I know I have always done my best to be a good mom and everyone says I'm a good mommy. I think that I was very imature and it was very hard for me. I had a baby boy last year at 25 years old and I think I did a better job as a mom with him because I'm older and more meture. I think that teens can be good moms but they would be better if they wait a bit longer to have kids.

Momma... Mommatoobe

For me personally, I was ready to be a Mother and in heart a Mother when I was 14. At age 14 I began watching a handsome 3 month old. He called me Mom and I raised him for 2 years. I was him Mommy.....until the one night his parents had him and he went into a coma for a week. Later found out he had weed, meth and cocaine in his system. I fell apart! That was my Son they were hurting. I was 16 and every morning I would drop him off at daycare, go to school, pick him up after school, go home and be a Mom for a few hours, and then take him back to the daycare where I got a job at! Now adays...I'm 20. My birth daughter is nearly 1. I love her to death but my love will always go out to the boy who to this day.....calls me Mommy!


Back to the question....Too young....personally it depends on each person. Some mature faster than others. I think you are too young with you are not prepared enough with finances and living arrangements. If you constantly depend on others, your parents or the state you are probably to young to raise a child in a safe, dependable, stable, nurturing environment!

Nesa_Z Nesa_Z

I had my son at 20. DH and I had been married for a little over a year when we found out we were pregnant. I turned 21 when DS was 5 months old. He's now almost 8 months old and we are the happiest family you could imagine. DH has a good job, I'm in school, DS is loved and spoiled rotten, we bought a house last year and although we are having a bit of financial struggles right now, we aren't at risk of losing the house or anything so we feel extremely blessed! If I had to do it all over again I would still have kids young. I don't know how young is too young. Personally I think as long as you are married and happily so, then I imagine you are old enough.

eodum eodum

I am 23, expecting my first and I think it is the perfect age.  At 21, I might have thought I was ready, but I really wasn't.  Since I have found out I was pregnant, my life has already drastically changed, but for the better.  I guess it really depends on where you are at in life financially, emotionally, etc. 

Marks... Marks_wife

If my daughter were to become pregnant at the age of 12, the baby would be either raised by me, or put up for adoption.  That is just my personal thoughts on it.  I myself was 19 when I gave birth to my oldest child and I didn't know anything.  I was NOT ready.  Before then, I hadn't been allowed to give a baby a bath.  I was terrified!  Because of my young age, I didn't always make wise decisions either.  I was a married mother, but that mattered little since I didn't have much of a clue what I was doing.  But I loved that baby so much it just filled my heart.  He will be 15 next month and proclaims that I'm "the best mom in the world" so I guess I didn't do too badly.  My sister didn't fair so well.  She had her first child when she was 16 and has no control over that child's life right now.  In fact, that poor girl is in a group home.  It's all dependant on the person.  One more example, my grandmother.  She was 17 and unmarried when my mom was born.  But she was the best mom that could have walked the earth.  My mom was 19 when giving birth to me, so Grandma raised me until her death when I was 8.

M2TandM M2TandM

There is an age of consent for a reason. Just because a girl is menstrating, it doesn't always follow that her body is then physically capable of having a pregnancy without posing risks and complications. After the age of consent - then I think it is down to the individual. I, in my early 20's, would have been more than capable of being a mum, my younger sister who is in her early 20's? Not so. 

Decker Decker

I guess I would be consider a "young" mom. I got pregnant at 18 and had my daughter at 19, got pregnant at 19 and had my son at 20. I am married to my childrens father and have been since I was 18. I am 22 now and my husband is 33. I do feel like 12 years old is way too young to be a mom. There are so many things at that age they should be doing instead. But it isnt my place to tell a mom at any age they are too young or too old. I hate it when someone tells me I "threw" my life away, and that I will regret having kids so young, or when they tell me I am just a baby and should have waited. So I would never tell that to someone else. You can be a good mom at ANY age just like you can be a bad mom at any age.

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