How to Talk to a Pregnant Lady

on September 22, 2009 at 7:00 AM

what to never say to pregnant woman We all know about the inappropriate things people say to a pregnant woman. Everything from scary birth stories to comments like "Gee, you've gained a lot of weight" can make us feel, well, not so great.

When I read amileegirl's Journal called How to Properly Talk to a Pregnant Woman in Her Third Trimester, I laughed, I clapped (well in my head I did), and I had to share.

Scenario: You see a pregnant woman, quite heavy with child. It is apparent that she soon will give birth.

Inappropriate Responses
Bad: Boy, you sure are big.
Worse: How much bigger are you going to get anyway?
Likely to Get You Maimed: Wow, you are HUGE are you sure you aren't having twins? Haha!

Appropriate Responses
Good: You'll be giving birth soon. How exciting!
Very Good: Lovely belly! Is there anything I can help you with or anything you need?
Excellent for Husband: You look like a fertility goddess.

Scenario: You know her expected due date has come and gone. But she doesn't seem concerned and seems content to wait.

Inappropriate Responses
Bad: How long do they intend to let you go?
Worse: That's what inductions are for you know. Get that baby out already.
Likely to Get You Maimed: Do you intend to stay pregnant forever? What are you waiting for?

Appropriate Responses
Good: Enjoy these last moments! Let me treat you to lunch and let's talk.
Very Good: Have you gotten everything you need? How about we have a spa day and I'll paint your toenails for you.
Excellent for Husband: Babe, just tell those busybodies the baby will come when it is good and ready. Or do what I would do...flip them off.

Scenario: Your pregnant friend tells you that she's going back to work very soon after giving birth (part time, full time, or flex time).

Inappropriate Responses
Bad: Are you crazy?! What for?
Worse: Suppose something goes wrong and you have to have surgery or you are incapacitated? What makes you think you'll have any energy to do anything at all?
Likely to Get You Maimed: How come your husband doesn't make enough to support you? Maybe you shouldn't have gotten pregnant.

Appropriate Responses
Good: If anyone can do it, you can.
Very Good: I know you'll have your hands full, but if you ever need anything give me a call!
Excellent for Husband: I support you 100 percent.

Scenario: Your pregnant friend tells you that she's going to go natural...no drugs or augmentation of any kind.

Inappropriate Responses
Bad: Are you crazy?! What for?
Worse: Haha. You'll be begging for pain meds in record time.
Likely to Get You Maimed: Don't be silly. Why would you put yourself through that? Just do it like everyone else. What are you trying to prove?

Appropriate Responses
Good: A lot of people do that these days. All the power to you!
Very Good: I don't know much about going without meds. Can we talk about it more?
Excellent for Husband: I support you 100 percent.

Scenario: Your pregnant friend tells you that she's going stay home and give birth with a midwife.

Inappropriate Responses
Bad: Are you crazy?! What for?
Worse: That's just plain reckless. Suppose there is some emergency?
Likely to Get You Maimed: I suppose that's fine if you want to risk a dead baby.

Appropriate Responses
Good: A lot of people do that these days. All the power to you!
Very Good: I don't know much about homebirth. Can we talk about it more? I'll help if I can!
Excellent for Husband: I support you 100 percent.

Have you heard more inappropriate or appropriate responses in your pregnancy?

5 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman

Pregnant Women Get No Respect

Rudest Comments When Pregnant

About the author Michele Zipp

loves vintage and will defend skinny jeans to the death though she is highly superstitious and "death" is probably a bad word choice. She has a touch of the hoarding disease and enjoys sleuthing, the worst reality shows, and wearing high heels, even at the playground. She's an AP mom of twins, slightly crunchy but with a pedicure.

Filed Under: the pregnant life

Comments (6)

Daily Buzz Team

on Sep 22, 2009 at 9:35 AM

Love these!!

Report this comment

ethans_momma06

on Sep 22, 2009 at 11:12 AM

Saw the journal and thought they were really cute! Nobody really said anything to me when I was pregnant except along the lines of

'Oh god, do you really have to throw up again?'

Uhhhh yeah...I don't get to choose when to be morning sick!

momof3jll

on Sep 22, 2009 at 11:46 AM

When I was pregnant with my second child, a women in my class (not high school, I was 22!) said to me, "Did you know that humans are the only ones who reproduce beyond their means and destroy the planet?" Sooo, basically you're telling me that by having this baby, I am dooming the earth and the human race to destruction?! BTW, she was upset because I insulted the stray dogs of the area. So she was comparing people dumping their dogs on the side of the road to my being pregnant.

The good comments came after my kids were born. When people found out I was breastfeeding my babies, they all were happy, said good for me, they are going to grow up to be big, strong men, stuff like that. Nothing against FF moms but the praise felt good since so many people still think BF is weird or wrong.

JoyandLove

on Sep 22, 2009 at 1:49 PM

Yesterday this lady from my kids school tells me my face is getting fat.

sodapple

on Sep 22, 2009 at 10:14 PM

once from a classmatem that was pregnant too but delivering a tad later on ask me "when are you going to explode?" i just turned my back and left, she never spoke to me again =-/

my2boysandgirl

on Sep 23, 2009 at 7:44 AM

I think the worst thing that I have heard was when I was questioned about having the baby soon and still had a couple of months to go. Never assume that I am due soon you don't know how soon the baby is coming.

Then there was the time I was in the bathroom at a wedding and a few older women started inspecting me so they could guess what I was having and they were wrong.