How to Talk to a Pregnant Lady

Michele Zipp
6

what to never say to pregnant womanWe all know about the inappropriate things people say to a pregnant woman. Everything from scary birth stories to comments like "Gee, you've gained a lot of weight" can make us feel, well, not so great.

When I read amileegirl's Journal called How to Properly Talk to a Pregnant Woman in Her Third Trimester, I laughed, I clapped (well in my head I did), and I had to share.

Scenario: You see a pregnant woman, quite heavy with child. It is apparent that she soon will give birth.

Inappropriate Responses
Bad: Boy, you sure are big.
Worse: How much bigger are you going to get anyway?
Likely to Get You Maimed: Wow, you are HUGE are you sure you aren't having twins? Haha!

Appropriate Responses
Good: You'll be giving birth soon. How exciting!
Very Good: Lovely belly! Is there anything I can help you with or anything you need?
Excellent for Husband: You look like a fertility goddess.

 

Scenario: You know her expected due date has come and gone. But she doesn't seem concerned and seems content to wait.

Inappropriate Responses
Bad: How long do they intend to let you go?
Worse: That's what inductions are for you know. Get that baby out already.
Likely to Get You Maimed: Do you intend to stay pregnant forever? What are you waiting for?

Appropriate Responses
Good: Enjoy these last moments! Let me treat you to lunch and let's talk.
Very Good: Have you gotten everything you need? How about we have a spa day and I'll paint your toenails for you.
Excellent for Husband: Babe, just tell those busybodies the baby will come when it is good and ready. Or do what I would do...flip them off.

 

Scenario: Your pregnant friend tells you that she's going back to work very soon after giving birth (part time, full time, or flex time).

Inappropriate Responses
Bad: Are you crazy?! What for?
Worse: Suppose something goes wrong and you have to have surgery or you are incapacitated? What makes you think you'll have any energy to do anything at all?
Likely to Get You Maimed: How come your husband doesn't make enough to support you? Maybe you shouldn't have gotten pregnant.

Appropriate Responses
Good: If anyone can do it, you can.
Very Good: I know you'll have your hands full, but if you ever need anything give me a call!
Excellent for Husband: I support you 100 percent.

 

Scenario: Your pregnant friend tells you that she's going to go natural...no drugs or augmentation of any kind.

Inappropriate Responses
Bad: Are you crazy?! What for?
Worse: Haha. You'll be begging for pain meds in record time.
Likely to Get You Maimed: Don't be silly. Why would you put yourself through that? Just do it like everyone else. What are you trying to prove?    

Appropriate Responses
Good: A lot of people do that these days. All the power to you!
Very Good: I don't know much about going without meds. Can we talk about it more?
Excellent for Husband: I support you 100 percent.

 

Scenario: Your pregnant friend tells you that she's going stay home and give birth with a midwife.

Inappropriate Responses
Bad: Are you crazy?! What for?
Worse: That's just plain reckless. Suppose there is some emergency? 
Likely to Get You Maimed: I suppose that's fine if you want to risk a dead baby.   

Appropriate Responses
Good: A lot of people do that these days. All the power to you!
Very Good: I don't know much about homebirth. Can we talk about it more? I'll help if I can!
Excellent for Husband: I support you 100 percent.

Have you heard more inappropriate or appropriate responses in your pregnancy?

 

Related posts

5 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman

Pregnant Women Get No Respect

Rudest Comments When Pregnant


Read More