Pregnant Sex Questions

on September 10, 2009 at 7:00 AM

My favorite 'smooch my husband' photo

(besides our wedding day)

At one meeting with my doula, we talked about sex. Not the sex of my twins, but sex sex -- as in sex with my husband. I laughed because it's just not really happening lately. Nausea throughout my first and some of my second trimester made getting it on nearly impossible and now in my final stretch of my second trimester, I'm just not feeling it. Wait, let me clarify that.

There are moments when I'm really feeling it -- but the last time that happened we were in the self-serve aisle of IKEA. And while the store wasn't very crowded, we didn't do the deed. Ha! Can you imagine looking for bin 23 and instead seeing a pregnant lady and her man having sex? That would make the six o'clock news.

So while I do agree that the second trimester brings strong sexual desires, it's never the opportune time for me. But hubs and I still find time to be romantic and we come up with other ways besides penetration (which can be uncomfortable) that works for us. (Now's the time to look away if you are offended easily.) Read: mutual masturbation.

My doula thought this was great -- she was happy to hear my hubs and I were staying intimate and in tune with each other. She also suggested some "just the tip" kind of sex, kissing, and cuddling. Great ideas.

I found some ladies talking about sex during pregnancy on CafeMom and here are some varying comments on the subject....

My hormones are going crazy and I am more hot and heavy than my man.
I am turned on slightly less during this pregnancy.
Best position for sex during pregnancy is from behind because then my baby belly isn't a distraction.
I can turn anything into something sexual. I was in the store with a girlfriend and she was looking at this chair and I was thinking what a chair to have for the sex positions.
Orgasms are better then ever...because of the extra blood flow and nerves are pushed more to the surface.
They do say that a good round of sex and orgasms will help induce labor.
Sex for me lately hurts when I have it, not burning, but sore and tender and then comes the cramps in the stomach!
What is crazy for me is that I'm turned on, but it shuts off quickly if I don't act on it fast.
[Having sex from] behind hurts me some (it puts more pressure on my belly area). I like to be on my back, but with hubby sitting up.
Honestly, I just prefer getting oral right now...however, from the side is good, too.

Can you relate to these? Want to share you sex story or feelings during pregnancy?

Is It Safe? Sex in the Third Trimester

Sex in the Second Trimester

Anal Sex with a Baby on the Way

About the author Michele Zipp

loves vintage and will defend skinny jeans to the death though she is highly superstitious and "death" is probably a bad word choice. She has a touch of the hoarding disease and enjoys sleuthing, the worst reality shows, and wearing high heels, even at the playground. She's an AP mom of twins, slightly crunchy but with a pedicure.

Filed Under: sex & relationships

Comments (7)

JoyandLove

on Sep 10, 2009 at 12:26 PM

Pregnancy definitely affects intimacy.

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Peajewel

on Sep 10, 2009 at 1:00 PM

I was the first one. He did not want to have sex at all once I began to show and that is all I wanted.

irishangel710

on Sep 10, 2009 at 2:41 PM

I haven't gone through any periods of not wanting sex (with either my first pregnancy or my current one). However, I do think the second and third trimester brings on the sex hormones x 10. I normally have a VERY high sex drive (worse than a man) so I don't think anything aside from death would stop that but lately (I'm 29 weeks) I feel like it's NEVER enough. Lucky for me my fiance has the same sex drive and isn't one of those guys who is afraid to have sex while I'm pregnant. I don't seem to get very big or gain much weight during pregnancy. I'm JUST starting to show and like I said I'm 29 weeks, the same with my first and I never gain more than 20lbs so I'm still pretty much doing all the same positions I was before and still have the same flexibility but during the last month or so I will probably be too sore to do more than just doggystyle or me on top. I was ready to start having sex right after my baby was born and only waited 3 weeks so pregnancy doesn't change our sex life, it only makes it happen x100 lol

baileyxo

on Sep 10, 2009 at 5:18 PM

I dont know what's wrong with ME then, I can't seem to WANT sex at all, I can't even get turned on... Or anything...

Cafe MicheleZ

on Sep 10, 2009 at 9:23 PM

Nothing is wrong with you, baileyxo! Most of the time I feel the same way as you! I think it also depends on what trimester you are in.

metalmama86

on Sep 11, 2009 at 4:03 PM

I'm in my third trimester and it seems like I am always in the mood. The first trimester didn't see that much action.. too much morning sickness and feeling like walking-death. Second trimester was a very emotional time for me, so sex either happened or it didn't, no big deal. However when it did happen, it was very intimate and slow, no 'quickies,' if you catch my drift. But now that I'm in my third trimester, I want it all the time; for the physical pleasure (duh) and also for the emotional connection between my fiance' and I... that's what I crave the most. Isn't it crazy how our hormones work? How every womans sex drive changes and fluxuates during pregnancy? Insane. Ladies, we're such incredible creatures!! :0)

JusNikki

on Jan 7, 2010 at 9:27 AM

My hubby and I have a pretty healthy sex life before and after the pregnancy! We have two kids, and we try to fit sex in whenever we can. I'm pregnant with our third child and sometimes I'm in the mood than others not so much. I really enjoy having sex with my hubby, and I hate when he's in the mood and I'm not it sucks lol. So we're counting down the days until we can have great sex after the baby, but until then we'll do continue to take things slow!