Time to Get Pregnant? When You and He Disagree ...

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planning pregnancy

Photo by YoMama2005

If I'd waited for my husband to agree that it was time to start a family, I'd still be waiting today. Then again, Mr. Procrastination also waited five years after we started dating to produce an engagement ring, so it was none to surprising or out of character for him.

So seven years ago around this time of year, I took the initiative and he reluctantly agreed. He would have liked to be a bit more "settled." Our house was still being fixed up (and still is) and our bank account was quite small (and still is). But today he's glad we had our kids when we did, so for me being pushy worked out.

Sometimes, women who want to get pregnant for the first time are up against much greater resistance.

laurenleblanc and her hubby just can't agree on the best time to start their family.

"My urge to mother has shot through the roof. We thought we were pregnant back in January, and he was excited and happy, but nervous too," lauren says. We'd just gotten married and he wanted to be a little more financially sound. I understand where he's coming from, but every time we agree on a date (like when my birth control is up) and I remind him, he completely whips around and changes his mind."

Should she do what I did and take charge? Is that really the best strategy or should both parents be 100 percent on board?

"I think he is only agreeing because he wants to make you happy," heather.darin advises laurenleblanc in Answers. "But he probably isn't ready. I would stop bringing it up for a while."

amy31308 adds: "You want him to WANT one. When he's ready, he'll let you know. It's hard being patient, especially being on CafeMom, but it will well be worth the wait."

"Most men don't want to have babies right away; they need a little more time than women to be open to the idea," says Sillylins. "There's just no point in pressuring your husband. He will come around, just give him some time."

Did your SO agree that it's time to get pregnant? Or are you making the decision for him (one way or another)?

baby prep, fathers, sex & relationships, trying to conceive