I'm an Old Mom

older momThis is me. I don't feel old or act old -- whatever that really means. But being pregnant for the first time at 36 years old qualifies me as old.

Advanced maternal age is what they call any woman over 35 having a baby for the first time. It used to be called elderly primigravida, but they phased that phrase out. Jeez, I sound ancient.


I did a lot of things later than "the norm." I went to college for eight years. Not for failing though -- OK I failed piano class and my dreams of being like Tori Amos were ruined. I just was so eager to learn lots of things. I started off at community college majoring in math and science. Then took English and French for two more years. Then I was off to a university where I majored in English and French and took classes in creative writing and journalism. I graduated when I was 25. Then took Masters classes in secondary education. Phew. Tired of thinking of all of that.

I started my career after college, got married at 35, and here I am pregnant for the first time with twins. The way my life went, I was destined to be an old mom.

I feel I did what I needed to do before I settled down. Like I said before, this is me -- my life. I would never judge what others choose to do; I hope people don't judge me.

So here's the thing -- being an old mom-to-be of twins makes some doctors want to test me for every little thing. I've seen specialists who offer totally different opinions. Some want me to have an ultrasound every two weeks. Others insist on prodding me with needles. And it's gotten to the point where I want to scream. Do we have too many tests when pregnant?

I know I have my age against me. But I have lived a drug-free lifestyle, am in good shape, and I'm a healthy eater -- I am rarely sick and even when I am, I've avoided taking prescription medicine (unless absolutely necessary). I even took vitamins and folic acid while TTC. So yeah, my eggs are 36 years old, but they lived in an ideal environment. At least I'd like to think so.

I know modern medicine is amazing. And believe me, I am thankful for it. But there has come a time when this mama bear has had enough -- that time is now.

I have my first official meeting with my doula on Friday. She is a friend of mine and we've talked casually about my pregnancy, but we are going to sit down and talk a lot of things over. I can't wait.

I might even do some prenatal yoga tonight. One doctor told me not to, but another doctor said it was fine. I know, I'm a rebel. I'm even going to see Wilco in a few weeks, I wear skinny jeans and heels (well the skinny jeans won't button anymore since pregnancy), and I do brunch with friends quite often. I can't be old old, right?

I feel like my babies are telling me that everything is going to be OK, no matter what.

Are you an old mom, too? Have you ever felt like your head was spinning after hearing differing opinions from doctors during pregnancy?

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