I wrote a post not long ago on what to say when a friend miscarries, based on input from CafeMoms. And I read a Motherlode post this week on grieving a miscarriage that echoed some of the same sentiments moms expressed -- like, why can't people stop saying "you can try again"?
The post on grieving after a miscarriage actually came out of another, earlier, Motherlode post on the guilt of secondary infertility and what lengths women will sometimes go to (surprising even themselves) to conceive a baby.
The blogger mentioned in the secondary infertility post -- Kelcey Kintner of The Mama Bird Diaries -- has two children and wants a third. She suffered miscarriages in the process of trying, and says of the experience:
"Two miscarriages nearly crushed me. There was so much possibility in those two perfect lines on the pregnancy stick and then so suddenly and so cruelly, it was all taken away. My girls never even knew I was pregnant. But I did. And my husband did. And both times the loss felt devastating."
Grieving the loss of a baby is such a personal and difficult thing. Cafe Cynthia wrote about moms naming a miscarried baby -- for some, this is a way to grieve, honor the loss, and move on. Then of course comes the question of if and when to try again.
To share and connect with other CafeMoms who have been through the experience, consider joining the groups:
If you've experienced miscarriage, how did you grieve the loss, and what helped you move on?