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MIL in the Delivery Room: Yes or No?

by The Stir Bloggers on April 26, 2009 at 7:05 AM

 

MIL mother in law in the delivery room

Photo by Punkylu78

 

The question of who would be with me in the delivery room was an easy one -- I wanted my partner there, and no one else. Mom, extended family, friends? No thanks! But every mom-to-be is different.

When I interviewed Heather Armstrong (dooce) about her new book, she said her mom, sister, and stepdad were in the room with her and her husband when she gave birth. She wanted them to share in that intimate experience.

And I just read a post concerning this particular family member -- what about your mother-in-law in the delivery room? (Cafe Suzanne recently asked moms who've already delivered about MILs in attendance, too.)

Is she welcome when you give birth?

Question: Would you have your MIL in the delivery room?
  1. Yes, if she wanted to be there. 21%
  2. No! 68%
  3. I'm not sure -- maybe. 10%
Total Votes: 378
Voting on polls is not available on The Stir Mobile.

Filed Under: labor & delivery, the pregnant life

Comments

78
  • Trist...
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    TristansMom440

    April 26, 2009 at 7:22 AM

    My MIL stresses me and my DH on a daily basis.  I was lucky b/c he totally agreed w/me about not having her there.  I really wanted my mom to be there, but I knew it would piss off my MIL.  As it turned out...we had sent everybody home b/c doc said baby wasn't coming till suppertime.  But around 2:30, my LO decided to turn himself around by himself and come on out....so it ended up just being me & DH in delivery room.  I am glad it happened that way so nobody's feelings were hurt.


  • jajamama
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    jajamama

    April 26, 2009 at 7:28 AM

    my step mom was in the rom with me that was it my SO was in the room untill they said c-section then he was out. he cant stand blood


  • s.teph
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    s.teph

    April 26, 2009 at 7:56 AM

    My own mother was not present for reasons I won't get into, but my MIL and FIL were there with my hubby, although my FIL left for the actually birth part. My MIL sort of missed all of the births of her own children, they put her to sleep for all her births.. it was sort of how things were done back then apparently. It made me sad to think she missed that. She also wasn't there for the birth of her second grandchild because they were being supportive of my DH when he really needed them (before we married). It was sort of a peace offering in a way for me. I didn't particularly want her there, but I think of them as parents now, and I wanted to put the negative past behind us and start new... and this was an amazing gift for them. I also wanted my son to be part of their lives because I didn't know any of my grandparents and met only 1 of them at 12 years old.. she died shortly after that, so I didn't want that for my own child.


  • stykir
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    stykir

    April 26, 2009 at 7:57 AM

    I say no way.  Besides the fact that I feel like the birth of my children is between me and my husband, my mil is a pushy woman. I am pretty sure if I let her stay she'd jump in and tell me I'm doing it all wrong lol

    She was in my room until it was time to push when I had my son, and she wasnt that bad really, just chatted with my husband, but I would be uncomfortable with her staying. I don't even want my own mom in there unless for some reason my husband is out of town when I have my second.


  • amybu...
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    amybuddy45

    April 26, 2009 at 8:36 AM

    I voted yes, since she was in my room for my 1st.  She is more loving than my own mom.  I can't even remember the last time mymom said I love you or hugged me, but every time I talk or see my MIL she does those things.  For my 2nd, no one was in there other than my hubby and I am prego with my 3rd and we will see.  It is harder when you have more than 1 kid, it all depends on when I go and I hope I go at a decent time so my kids can be watched by someone other than my hubby.


  • AProu...
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    AProudUSMCWife

    April 26, 2009 at 8:51 AM

    I chose maybe..me and hubby agree that is it only me and him period..however with him being in the military it has been hard to fullfill those wishes..hubby got to see our daughter be born, but left 2 days later. Now our son, he didn't return in time and we discussed maybe his mom being in there incase something was to happen..or have her wait in the hospital, cause she is more caring and loving to me then my own mom since he wouldn't be there. I never decide on her being in there for the birth, but she never made it up..dumb hurricane prevented her from coming. So no one was there to watch it..but Hubby got to see it over a live feed..so I guess it is better then nothing.. I guess if we have another one..we will probably not have anyone come watch, since I have yet too..but maybe having someone in the hospital to see the baby after being born would be nice


  • silly...
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    sillyme85

    April 26, 2009 at 9:22 AM

    I would hope that by letting mother-inlaw watch it would make her more attached to her grandchildern. But then again My Inl-aws never came to hospital when I was in labor, Poor hubby was freaked out when our son was born. We where just 18yrs,he had never been around little one.My childern are teens now and sad to say Inlaws have pushed them aside for sister-in -laws childern.They never missed their birth or a birthday for them. Oh well......I guess that's life.


  • rkoloms
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    rkoloms

    April 26, 2009 at 9:47 AM

    I had my spouse, my sister (nurse/midwife who delivered our daughter), our doctor (the insurance didn't cover a midwife, so her name had to be on the birth certificate) and a nurse.


  • labeb...
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    labebaloca

    April 26, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    Yes off course, she is the grandmother of my babies, I was ok with her there.  My first one was a hospital delivery and the second one at home.  There was just not enough room in my bathroom for everybody, but she was in the bedroom.


  • lovep...
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    lovepotato

    April 26, 2009 at 10:13 AM

    I said yes, although I wouldn't have my actual MIL in the room. DH's aunt has always been more of a mom to him then his real mom, so I had her in the room when we had DS. It was fine. We had my aunt, his aunt and my best friend, and my stepmom and his uncle were right on the other side of the door. I don't have a problem with it. I wouldn't let just anyone in the room with us, but it was a very happy day and we liked sharing it with other close people. With our stillborn, we had my mom, my stepmom and my aunt. I hope we have other people with us next time.


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